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I don't see what the problem is... :(

Punk RabbitPunk Rabbit
edited July 2013 in Vent
<span style="font-size:85">Sorry for going into a rant here guys but feel free to stick around XD<br><br>For the past 4, going on 5 years I've been supporting an Akita charity, helping moderate one of the biggest breed sites as well as writing articles about the breed, speaking to breeders/owners/rescuers and general fanciers of the breed. I went to college to study Animal Care, worked in a Dog groomer and even today I'm the first to volunteer my help with any dog in distress. Over the past few years I've raised plenty of money for the charities and I hope never to stop doing it - my enthusiasm for the breed knows no bounds - and my mother knows this too but she refuses to believe that I have the capability to have a dog of my own despite being in a secure job and paying half the bills in the house (I moved back here to get her butt out of debt.) so every time I bring up the matter she just scowls.<br><br>I've even set up a bank account to put money in every month to save up for everything I need before the new arrival. I've set aside a budget so I can raised the £1000 I need to buy a secure insulated kennel outside for him at night (I work nightshift so that will really only be the time that he/she gets left alone) as well as looked into different insurers, spoken to registered breeders that are quite happy with my situation and my willingness to travel to another freakin' country to get a quality pup with the temperament that I'm looking for. I'm afraid to even approach her about what I've been doing because I know she'll either A) demand that the money be put to better use like paying her gas bill or feeding my twenty-something year old brother who hasn't had a job in three years or B) Get upset that I could 'be so stupid' for wanting something that will just poop and shed all over <span style="font-style:italic">her</span> nice clean house.<br><br>I don't know how much more I can do to prove that I'm a responsible adult and can take care of a dog - as I've been taking care of my disabled father and his family for the past three years. She doesn't seem to get that I'm ready to make the commitment and save for something I really want.<br><br>What do you guys think? Do you think I should just tell her what I've been up to and have my dreams crapped on but feel less sneaky or continue as I am in the hope that the money I save will be enough to prove to her that this isn't just a passing thing? n___n;;</span>
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Comments

  • FlyTMFlyTM
    222.154.169.253
    I'm not sure about whats going on but I know you could just keep saving up and buy a pup when you move out, or keep working on your mother, it took me 5years for my father to even allow me to have a APBT, thats now co-owned by him and me, as he didn't want me to have a dog because I worked but my depression went really really bad one day and he gave in and came home with a puppy the same day.
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  • TriannaTrianna
    67.247.136.161
    I don't see why you should feel "sneaky"... It's your money, you work to earn it, you should be able to spend it on what you want.
    (SPIDERS!)
  • tarnishtarnish
    76.188.12.63
    Trianna wrote:
    I don't see why you should feel "sneaky"... It's your money, you work to earn it, you should be able to spend it on what you want.
    <br><br>This is completely not true if she is living with her mother. It's her mother's house and it is her decision whether animals are allowed to live there as well. That argument isn't a really good one. <br><br>
    <br><br>Anyways. What I would do is sit down with your mom and have an honest conversation. Stick to saying what you've done to prepare for a dog, what you've done to prove you can handle it, and why you want one. Don't accuse her of anything or blame her. Just stick to your feelings about getting a dog. If she still doesn't want you to get a dog, it may be because she just doesn't want one in her house. Some parents just don't want animals and it has nothing to do with your capabilities. For example, my mom really dislikes ferrets. If I ever asked to get a ferret, she'd tell me no even if I saved for everything, proved I was knowledgeable about care, etc. If your mom just really doesn't want a dog, I'd wait until you can move out again and then you can buy what you want =). Unfortunately living with parents or other people does bring up issues like this. <br><br>I don't know your situation other than what you've said so it's sort of hard to offer ideas or suggestions. Mainly I say have an honest talk as I already said. Sometimes we have to wait for things we really want. It just makes it all the more special when you are able to get that special thing (in this case, the dog). <br><br>I wish you luck =). Try not to get too down if she's still not interested in having dog around. It doesn't mean you won't ever get the dog ^^.
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  • TriannaTrianna
    67.247.136.161
    tarnish wrote:
    Trianna wrote:
    I don't see why you should feel "sneaky"... It's your money, you work to earn it, you should be able to spend it on what you want.
    <br><br>This is completely not true if she is living with her mother. It's her mother's house and it is her decision whether animals are allowed to live there as well. That argument isn't a really good one. <br>
    <br><br><br>That was aimed at the feeling bad about saving money rather than spending it on her mother's bills.... obviously, if her mother says no dog in her house that's one thing, but she shouldn't feel bad about saving up for one.
    (SPIDERS!)
  • tarnishtarnish
    76.188.12.63
    No, she shouldn't feel bad about saving. I got confused because you said "you should be able to spend it on what you want". Spending isn't the same as saving. I think you could understand how I misread that =). So it wasn't 'obvious' to me. I feel that was a passive aggressive shot at me of some sort. I'm not looking to ruffle anyone's feathers ^^;, it was a misunderstanding with what was typed. Please feel free to correct me if that wasn't your intention to sound that way because that's how I took it and that's how it sounded to me. <br><br>Anyways, I do agree with the point that you should be able to save for what you want with the money that you earned =). Timing seems really delicate with this situation. I hope it works out =D
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  • TriannaTrianna
    67.247.136.161
    Not trying to be any sort of aggressive, though I see how it could look that way. One of the things I hate the most about communicating through type, without tone of voice or body language it's so easy to take things the wrong way. Sorry if my original message was unclear, I guess I was a bit too vague with it. XD
    (SPIDERS!)
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