I need this vent...

Cecekiwi · July 2012

I came too VP figuring this is the only place I can rant about my odd feelings and all the walls I build up to protect myself and how I am now trying to break those walls down to keep from pushing my closest friend in my life away.... its confusing even too me.. but I'm crying too much and... its not making sense to me. My best friend who I tell everything and the only one who I can be myself aroundd is most likely moving. Most people would want to spend every second with them, but I have spent most of my life building up wall to protect myself from being hurt... ( I have a huge list of family drama... it explain alot but I won't rant about that here) I count on only a certain number of people in my life.. My mother, my stepdad, my grandmaw, and my best friend. I have no other family because of drama and pain and how most people in my family were involved in some lie that would have ment I would be in foster care over the lie they made up. So yeah I have spent alot of time learning how to not get hurt. But, when I found out she was 99.9 percent sure she was moving, I instantly switch into put space inbetween us so I don;'t hurt as much when I lose my closest friend is is practically like a sister to me. I don't want to push her away though... I have sooo many friends because they have met new people and forgotten I existed and every friend that has moved has never spoken to me again.... I don't want that to happen between my friend and I... I don't know whats going through my head and why I'm sooo upset.. Well.. there I go.. somewhat spilling out my upsetted-ness.. On the bright side my vacational trip was fantastic..

Minx · July 2012

Im sorry this is happening to you! Thats such a difficult situation!

TiffaneeTerrorific · July 2012

I'm sorry to hear about this and I don't know how far away your friend is moving, but when my best friend and pretty much the same way you talk about yours is the same as me and my friend. We are best friends, we pretty much consider each other sisters and I love her, I could always tell her what I felt or all my biggest secrets and she never judged me for who I was or what I did. When we both graduated and found out they we were both moving about 2 hours away from each other, we just.. cried. We pretty much spent every day with each other and at one point I pretty much lived at her house xD But even though we never really get to see each other any more and it's sad because we miss each other we make it work sometimes and try to get together whenever we aren't working on in school.. which is hard but we can't change anything so we just work around everything and do the best we can. Like I said I don't know how far your friend is moving away but if it is a reasonable distance just keep in touch via phone and internet and try to see eachother once in awhile for a weekend or something of the sorts. From the way it sounds you have had a lot of pain in your life when it comes to loved ones and I can understand that you put up a barrier so you don't get hurt anymore but you shouldn't push away your best friend It will end up hurting her/him and you because you lost her/him as a friend. I'm not very good at comforting people or giving good advice so.. I hope maybe I helped you a little.. and I really hope everything works out well for you and your best friend! Just cause there's a little distance between people doesn't mean they need to forget each other, but rather try even harder to stay connected

TiffaneeTerrorific · July 2012

Tiffanee Terrorific wrote:

I'm sorry to hear about this and I don't know how far away your friend is moving, but when my best friend and pretty much the same way you talk about yours is the same as me and my friend. We are best friends, we pretty much consider each other sisters and I love her, I could always tell her what I felt or all my biggest secrets and she never judged me for who I was or what I did. When we both graduated and found out they we were both moving about 2 hours away from each other, we just.. cried. We pretty much spent every day with each other and at one point I pretty much lived at her house xD But even though we never really get to see each other any more and it's sad because we miss each other we make it work sometimes and try to get together whenever we aren't working on in school.. which is hard but we can't change anything so we just work around everything and do the best we can. Like I said I don't know how far your friend is moving away but if it is a reasonable distance just keep in touch via phone and internet and try to see eachother once in awhile for a weekend or something of the sorts. From the way it sounds you have had a lot of pain in your life when it comes to loved ones and I can understand that you put up a barrier so you don't get hurt anymore but you shouldn't push away your best friend It will end up hurting her/him and you because you lost her/him as a friend. Also if this person is as good as a friend as you say she/he is, I doubt they will forget you exist Kiwi, because good true friends don't just drop a best friend and forget about them. I'm not very good at comforting people or giving good advice so.. I hope maybe I helped you a little.. and I really hope everything works out well for you and your best friend! Just cause there's a little distance between people doesn't mean they need to forget each other, but rather try even harder to stay connected

TiffaneeTerrorific · July 2012

Also I don't know why or how I quoted my post

But, sorry!! xD

Dark Flame · July 2012

Sorry to hear about this Kiwi. Whatever you do , don't push your best friend away. Wherever she moves, you can Always keep in contact with her, send her letters, emails, and phone calls. It won't be as bad as you think. My best friend lives 2+ hours away, we see each other sometimes. But keep in contact through internet. Just do whatever you want to make it easier for you when she goes. Knowing that you are keeping in contact may help.

UnknownDreamland · July 2012

Have you considered a video chatting option? It doesn't help with the wall you put up, but when I moved across the country, that's how I kept in touch with friends. My sister is actually flying over to visit her friend(they haven't seen each other in two years) and is spending a few days with her in a few weeks. I find that video chatting(via skype, gmail, etc.) is a great second-place option. You get to see the person and everything. (: I'm sorry you're having a rough time.

Cecekiwi · July 2012

Thanks to all of y'all. I have been planning on finally getting a web cam, so now would defently be the best time. I know its not right to push her away, soo I spent the day talking to her yesterday.. It's not the same right now, but I guess we both feel weird knowing her days might be limited. She will live about 4 or 5 plus hours away, but hopefully during the summer time we can get together. We both have internet connections, so we will talk over that. I told my mom about them moving finally, I didn't speak of it for a few days because I felt like mentioning it would be like admitting it was most likely that she will move... It felt better to tell her though. My friend left today wit her mom and her little sister so they could go apply for jobs there... so this will most likely decide what happens. Once again thanks for all the advice. I know my upsetted-ness wasn't just about my friend, but that was just the sour cherry on top. The family thing has been bothering me lately.. and that had me upset prior to finding out my friend was most likely moving... I have my music playing and my head in my adv class work... sooo that will keep my thoughts off of things for awhile till it's time to face it. If I continue to think about it I will just drive myself to a breaking point. It's a common thing I do... Thanks.

Horsegirl210 · July 2012

I'm sorry kiwi.

but definately don't push her away. You'll still be able to see her.

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I need this vent...

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