My "Mother"... :|

<span style="font-size:92">This. *indicates my house, including my mother and everything she does* Is ridiculous.<br>She really needs to be sent somewhere or something, because I'm just about to the point of where I can't deal with it.<br>I'm going to end up on my knees begging my dad to move in with him.<br>I've already been asking him consistently for the past 4-5 years, but he won't let me.<br>It's not even just the fact that he's living with his gf (of 9 years and doesn't have the house in his name) and he doesn't have an actual room for me. Or the fact that there's a mattress instead of a bed. I've already told him. I have absolutely no issue with sleeping on the mattress instead of having a bed 3' off the ground, it doesn't bother me; not even in the least.<br>I've been at the point of where I really don't care what happens to my mother. It's like her goal in life is to make me miserable everytime I get in a good mood. The only time I'm not completely stressed anymore is when I'm nowhere near her.<br>She constantly uses my dad. She begs for more and more money from him, when he already pays double, or more, what I cost. My mum doesn't even use the money on me and my brother, she uses it on all her bills. Her credit cards, her dental bills, her school loans from college. And I'm sure that's not it. She begs me and my brother to let her borrow the money we have. All the time. And if we tell her no, she goes into a fit about how she'll ground us, she'll take away our phones (that she doesn't even pay for), and whatever else she can threaten. She thinks that just she's our legal guardian everything we have is hers. Not sorry to say, that's wrong. She threatens to take my dad to court all the time 'coz he doesn't pay more for child support just because he's gotten raises in his paycheck. Which I think is just complete bull.<br>My dad refuses to let me move in with him because he knows my mother would hate both of us for it, and that she'd never make the bills without the child support she gets for me. And I'm at the point of which I don't care if she can't make it. She needs to learn that it ain't all about her all the time, just because she's miserable don't mean anythin'. It's not my damn fault she can't make her bills without the child support she gets for makin' me live with her.<br>Truthfully, I think the only reason she wanted to win us over in court when she got divorced was so she could screw my dad over and have her little ego trip that she got us an he didn't. She always hollers at me about everythin' she can, she constantly makes me miserable, blames me for all the stuff she does wrong, anything.<br>Then, all of a sudden, she'll start goin' on tryna be all caring an stuff. Why she boutta just act like I'm someone she can blame and try to boss around, and then try an be all caring? It's stressful, and it's not healthy.<br>She's still havin' me an my lil' brother still in the same room! She won't clean "her" room so I can sleep in it. And I can't clean it, because she'll holler about how I messed up all her stuff, she planned on cleaning that, blah blah blah. She's constantly complainin' about how she's sleepin' on the damn couch in the living room. Clean your own room then!<br>My dad don't wanna let me move in with him because it'll make my mum loose everything and hate both him and me. For all I care, she can hate me more than she already does, coz I don't care anymore.<br>I coop myself up in her room (only place semi-clean is the computer space) all day so that I don't have to deal with her critisizing everything I do and blamin' me for stuff. I don't wanna be stuck inside all day! I'd like to actually be able to go out and hang-out with my friends, but I can't. And if I do ask and I'm allowed, it's only allowed -right- behind my house. I can't go hang-out at a friend's house downtown, I can't go walk down to the BP or Hot Dog Shoppe with them. She's always sayin' about how I'll get shot or kidnapped, or about how I'll look bad walkin' around. Why she got to go and care about if I live or die if she don't care about if I'm happy or not? I really don't think it's right.<br><br>I don't want to have to be stressed out and critisized all the time. I wanna be able to actually talk to my parent about the day I had. I don't want hollered at and cussed at because my mother waited 40 minutes until I was done on a trail ride for my 4h meeting, and then shove me in the backseat of the car for the ride home when she knows I get sick to the point of puking and passing out because my head hurts so bad like it's about to explode. I want to actually be able to tell my parent I rode a different horse and had my BO say I did a good job on the horse and looked good. I can't do that though, because mine couldn't care less. And I want to be able to cry without being hollered at! I'm not even allowed to cry for Pete's sake!<br><br><span style="font-weight:bold">*sigh*</span> just had to get that out..not quite sure if it helped or not yet..but-cookies if you read it. </span>