A friend to bother with?

Drucilla · February 2009

I think that some of you may have heard me mention this "friend" in the past, but for those who don't know. ..... My "friend" is very self absorbant, no problem is as bad or big as hers. It physically and mentally drains me to spend time with her as she constantly goes on about her problems. BUT, God forbid that I want to tell HER something. She just looks disinterested and quickly directs the conversation back to her. Well today I decided to text her as I haven't spoken to her for a while (Bear in mind that I've been really struggling lately and desperatly need someone to talk to.) My text Hi chick, hows you? Soz I aint been in touch for a while, I've had some of my own problems to deal with. Hope everythings ok, and that you're boys are well (she has 2 sons). xx Her reply. Hi there. I need a friend to talk to. The boys are fine. You still at the stables? (Meaning my job)

So, is it just me or does that seem like she really doesnt CARE that I've had issues to deal with? If someone had text that to me I'd automatically ask what was wrong and if I could help. Maybe that's my problem, I guess I think about others happiness too much!!

rohesia · February 2009

wow, she sounds as self absorbed as ever, Mashi : / Sorry that your mate's being a mardy bogger, mebbe you ought to tell her that right now she needs to be the one listening to your problems rather than vice versa. On another note, how'd you like the snow?

Drucilla · February 2009

On another note, how'd you like the snow?

Pfft, as I work outside then I didn't enjoy it much. Although when it snowed really bad I couldn't actually get to work, that was cool :P As for my "friend". I know I should say something, but again, I hate comfrontations and hurting/upsetting other people. Does anyone know where I can get a personality swap? My meek timid one for one that has a few more guts and cares less?

rohesia · February 2009

mashivak wrote:

On another note, how'd you like the snow?

 Pfft, as I work outside then I didn't enjoy it much. Although when it snowed really bad I couldn't actually get to work, that was cool :P As for my "friend". I know I should say something, but again, I hate comfrontations and hurting/upsetting other people. Does anyone know where I can get a personality swap? My meek timid one for one that has a few more guts and cares less?

Hated the snow too xD ; ) And, see, I would swap you, but though I can be just like Donna Noble (almost exactly as loud and demanding) XD sometimes, it's definitely not the majority of the time. I'm usually just as meek and timid. : / Mebbe get a friend to confront her or sommat? Or, horror of horrors (no sarcasm here) talk to her parents?

Drucilla · February 2009

She is a grown woman, with 2 teenage sons. So talking to her parents prbably wouldn't work lol. I wish I had the corage to confront her about this, but I really don't see this as a friendship at the mo. Friendships are supposed to be both sides arent they? *shrugs*

rohesia · February 2009

XD I was thinking early twenties, by the way she's acting, but you're probably right about not going to parents LOL. ah well. If it's that much trouble, just leave it in the balance for now, and when she matures a little, try to repair the friendship

DiamondPuppy0809 · March 2009

I thought I'd dig this up. xD I have a friend just like this, Mashivak. I never really noticed it before, but now I'm starting to... (We're on a chatting program): Me: I had a bad day... I was hoping she'd ask why so I wouldn't have to initiate talking about myself--I feel sort of conceited & selfish when I do sometimes Friend: Me, too. (After she had already explained that she'd had a fairly good day.) (I drop it. Later in the convo..) Me: It's the only class I have with that person... She knows how I feel about that person, and I was hoping she'd ask something, but, hey, I can't be that selfish. Friend: Not me! (Again, I drop it. She might just not be a very good computer chatter. Later in the convo...) Me: I think I might be a little depressed. Now, I was being a little sarcastic about the deal (but, hey, it's a computer chat, how can you show sarcasm without pointing it out? Lol.) It didn't seem like sarcasm with the subject we were talking about, though. After detailedly explaining she was happy... Friend: So am I :[ I just dropped the whole conversation and said I had to go. It might've been because I had a bad day (I was still cheerful, though, since I always try and find the bright side to everything). But she's normally like this, too, even in real life, face-to-face conversations. I regularily leave it alone because she is a good friend otherwise, but it's bugging me today. x.x -SORRY FOR HIJACKING THIS... older vent XD- Mashivak, I could never see a woman acting like that and I think it's selfish. :[ I hope she treats you better

Drucilla · March 2009

Actually, I'm glad you did pull this back up Garfieldz. You're friend seems very selfish also. Friendship shouldn't be that hard should it? I mean you hinted so many times that you needed someone to talk to, yet she still insisted on contradicting herself and saying that SHE was also unhappy. I feel for you gal, I really do.

New text from my friend today..... Slight back story, just so you know all circumstances. Basically I've not been keeping in contact with her, finding it too exhausting to talk to her. Well anyway, I had an operation Tuesday, nothing major, just had my wisdom tooth removed. But it hurts like hell and I've seriously not wanted to go out or interact due to pain and swollen -ness. My mum saw my "friend" whilst taking the dogs for a walk and told her that I haven't been in touch because of said op. (I assume she asked my mum). My friend apparently said that she was going to come round and see me. Can't say I was overly thrilled about this, but hey. Today I had a text from her... "(my name) I'm at home at the mo. I am off sick so if you wanna come up you can." I just can't believe that even after learning that I've had an operation, she still expects me to go there because SHE'S ill!!! Oh Garfieldz, why do we attract such moronic friends?

DiamondPuppy0809 · March 2009

mashivak wrote:

Actually, I'm glad you did pull this back up Garfieldz. You're friend seems very selfish also. Friendship shouldn't be that hard should it? I mean you hinted so many times that you needed someone to talk to, yet she still insisted on contradicting herself and saying that SHE was also unhappy. I feel for you gal, I really do. 
 New text from my friend today..... Slight back story, just so you know all circumstances. Basically I've not been keeping in contact with her, finding it too exhausting to talk to her. Well anyway, I had an operation Tuesday, nothing major, just had my wisdom tooth removed. But it hurts like hell and I've seriously not wanted to go out or interact due to pain and swollen -ness. My mum saw my "friend" whilst taking the dogs for a walk and told her that I haven't been in touch because of said op. (I assume she asked my mum). My friend apparently said that she was going to come round and see me. Can't say I was overly thrilled about this, but hey. Today I had a text from her... "(my name) I'm at home at the mo. I am off sick so if you wanna come up you can." I just can't believe that even after learning that I've had an operation, she still expects me to go there because SHE'S ill!!! Oh Garfieldz, why do we attract such moronic friends?

Because we're too nice, eh? Heh. I love my friends, I really do, and even the one that's selfish, but sometimes, even if they need the comfort, you have to refuse due to past experiences with their "me-ness". Eh?

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A friend to bother with?

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