Hilarious Corny Jokes [more added]

IRawrSkittles · June 2008

Ah, I was looking up corny jokes, and here are some of my favorites: Two muffins were in an oven Muffin 1: OMG, it's hot in here Muffin 2: OMG! A talking muffin!

Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Interupting cow Person 2: Inter- Person 1: MOO

Q. What's E.T short for? A. Because he's got little legs.

Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick

Two fish are in a tank. Fish one turns to the other fish and says "How do you drive this thing?"

Spring had arrived, and the little mole family hurried to peek out of the burrow. Mama Mole and Papa Mole jammed into the opening. Baby Mole stood just behind them, because they blocked the tunnel. Being moles and very nearsighted, they sniffed the air. Mama Mole said, "I smell growing grass! Spring is here and the world is green!" Papa Mole said, "I smell daffodils! Spring is here and the flowers are blooming!" And Baby Mole said, "Hmph. All I can smell is molasses."

A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. To get to the other side? A. No, to get to the Washington Post B. Uhh... A. Do you get it? B. No A. Me neither, I get the Times

A frog hops into a bank and asks to speak to the loan officer. He's led to the office by a lady named Patricia Wack and says he'd like to take out a $10,000 loan for a car. A bit taken aback by this frog, Ms. Wack asks what kind of collateral he has. The frog says "Not much, just this porcelian figurine." and he sets it on the desk. "Well I'm afraid we'll need more than that, what about references." Said Ms. Wack "Well you can call my father, his name is Mick Jagger." said the frog Completely baffled, Patricia walks back to her boss and explains the situation, finishing with "...and I don't even know what this is." and places the porcelian figurine on his desk. Her boss replies: Well that's a knick-knack Patty Wack give the frog a loan, his old man's a rolling stone.

Bob: Ask me what is the secret of comedy. Ted: What's the secre- Bob: TIMING

A duck walks into a drink store and asks "Do you have any grain?" The store ownerr replies "No we're a drink store, we dont have any grain." So the duck leaves. Next day the duck returns and asks "Do you have any grain?" Store owner replies again that they dont have any grain. Next day the duck returns and again asks "Do you have any grain?" The store owner gets frustrated and replies "We dont have any grain, if you ask again I'll nail your beak to the desk!". So the duck leaves. Next day the duck returns again and asks "Do you have any nails?" The store owner says "No we dont have any nails!" So the duck replies "Well in that case, do you have any grain?"

We have had a number of complaints from middle management that employees have been seeking their assistance in locating items that they have mislaid or lost. As from Monday we have appointed Helen Hunt as our lost property officer. From now on if you lose anything on company premises, go to Helen Hunt for it.

New Jokes beyond this point Patient: Doc, I can't stop singin The Green Green Grass of Home Doc: That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome Patient: Is it serious? Doc: It's Not Unusual

Two Eskimos were sitting in a kayak. They started to get chilly so they lit a fire. To no one's surprise, it sank. Moral of the story: You can't have your kayak and heat it too.

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

Q. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A. Nacho cheese

Q. What does a turtle fly in? A. His shellicopter.

Q. What do you call a chair that you sit on? A. A chair.

Q. What's red and looks like a bucket? A. A red bucket.

Q. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A. A red bucket in disquise.

Q. What do you call an empty jar of Cheese-Whiz A. Cheese-Wuz

Q. What did the little girl say to her sister when she poured her a bowl of Cheerios? A. Hey look Donut seeds!

KiteKatsumi9 · June 2008

lmao, omg, the interrupting cow one...one of my genius friends - In our early childhood playgroup, he decided to tell that joke to the little kids. But he forgot to moo to interrupt them. So he goes "wait...I missed up. Do over!" It was so funny XD

Doggirl1995 · June 2008

lmao I love what you do with your time Darky xD

IRawrSkittles · June 2008

Hose-Frog-Pickle wrote:

lmao I love what you do with your time Darky xD

Yeah, when I help Zac babysit, this is what we do xD Search for some corny jokes, or listen to them from his little cousin Micaela :]

Mikey Makita · June 2008

Why did the football team go to the bank? To get their quarter back

Mommy,mommy,why is daddy so stiff? Shut up and keep digging

Why do they bury lawyers 20 feet under? Cause deep down inside they`re really great guys

dachshund girl · June 2008

i heard the duck one before. My moms favorite joke of all time (personnaly I think it is lame) Why did the monkey fall out of they tree Because he was dead :shock:

XxKyliexx · June 2008

Why did the monkey fall out of they tree Because he was dead

Hahaha, I almost has ears in my eyes. Ha, I have to tell that one.

IRawrSkittles · June 2008

dachshund girl wrote:

 Why did the monkey fall out of they tree Because he was dead :shock:

I heard that joke like that one time, but it was like Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. He was dead. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. He was taped to the first monkey. Q. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A. He thought it was a game.

Sea Oats · June 2008

Baha. I feel pathetic cause I have no life, but the muffin one just made my day XD

Masko · June 2008

A pig walks into a restraunt and asks the waiter for 1 glass of tea. He drinks it and asks to go to the restroom, and he does. A second pig walks into the restraunt and asks the waiter for 2 glasses of tea. He drinks it and asks to go to the restroom, and he does. A third pig walks into the restraunt and asks the waiter for 3 glasses of tea. He drinks it and asks to go to the restroom, and he does. A fourth pig walks into the restraunt and asks the waiter for 4 glasses of tea. He drinks it and asks to go to the restroom, and he does. A fifth pig walks into the restraunt and asks the waiter for 5 glasses of iced tea. He drinks them and starts walking out. The waiter stops him and asks "Don't you wanna' use the bathroom?" The pig responds "No, I'm the fifth little pig, I go wee wee wee all the way home!" LMAO I cracked up when I heard that. Originally it was inappropriate, so I changed it to to tea and a restraunt. 8)

soccerguy21 · June 2008

lmao!!! that was so funny, Darky!

Silver Husky · June 2008

Lol, I've heard the Mole one from my 6th grade home ec teacher and the duck one from my 7th grade Math teacher. He would always tell us jokes...... right before he gave us a test -_-

SunnyDaysDontLie · June 2008

-laughs- Lol, I like the Knick-knack one xDDD

Cobalt · June 2008

Heh, I got one. A french man was planning to rob the Louvre in Paris. He succeeded in getting in, and safely made it back to his van with a few paintings. However, a few blocks later his van stalled, and the police caught him. When questioned as to why he had stopped in the middle of the road and allowed himself to be caught, he responded: "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh." Hahahaha. XP

SunnyDaysDontLie · June 2008

Thats indeed corneh, Balteh! Lol

PishPosh · June 2008

I think I'm going to draw a little picture for the muffin thing xD

IRawrSkittles · June 2008

PishPosh wrote:

I think I'm going to draw a little picture for the muffin thing xD

OMGOSH.. I must see it. That is my favorite joke of all time. {notice why it is Number 1}

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Hilarious Corny Jokes [more added]

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