How do you..

Garnet · September 2012

Gain sometimes trust back.. I'm completely out of ideas... I need a way to price to someone I'm serious about what I say but neither of us know how I can do that..

Garnet · September 2012

Someones* prove* My phone auto corrected those two words..

Alabama · September 2012

Well, trust and proof are rather contradictory. If someone is trusted, you don't need proof and if you need proof, then there isn't any trust. The only way I know to earn someone's trust is to follow through on what you say all the time. If trust is compromised, it could take years to earn it back, if ever.

^Oriyana^ · September 2012

I agree with Bama. The only real way is to act trustworthy all the time. Trust can only be gained back over time, it's not something that you can do one thing and *poof* the trust is back.

Garnet · September 2012

Thanks guys.. I'm trying to show that what I said ill do I will. They just aren't giving me the chance too.. it doesn't help that someone I thought was one of my best friends keeps lying to this person about me which is makin them not wanna trust me even more.. I keep having to show proof that I haven't done anything wrong..

Alabama · September 2012

This may just be me, but a person who lies doesn't deserve to be my friend and if they are lying about me, they are beneath me acknowledging them. Someone who doesn't trust me also isn't a friend and at least to me, what they think doesn't matter. Of course, if they are a close family member or boss, you can't just ignore them, but wasting time trying to prove stuff to them is just that, a waste. You just have to show them. Friends don't need to prove things to each other. Though I may know a person well enough to know they lie, and I can talk to them if necessary, I would never call them a friend and would hesitate to spend any time with them. Never would I tell them anything that might be important to me. If a "friend" of mine believes someone else over me, that is their loss, not mine. I know myself to be trustworthy and faithful. If they don't know that about me, then they don't know me well enough to be considered a friend. Being happy is too important to waste time on people like that. The more you try to defend yourself or your actions to someone who doesn't believe you, the more they will insist on you defending yourself. It turns into an endless circle of accusations and defenses. It's a waste. They either believe you or they don't. You can't change by words whether someone trusts you or not. You can't make or talk anyone into feeling something they don't. They either do or they don't and they have to make their own judgements based on their own criteria. The more you play their game, the more power you give them to determine your actions. That doesn't lead to trust. You have to live the way you want to live regardless of what people think. The people who like you for you, who trust you, will be the ones who don't try to make you do things to prove yourself to them. Anyone else isn't your friend.

Garnet · September 2012

Thanks Bama.. It's just so hard to drop it when it means so much to me.. I hate waiting to see what will happen and not to mention we are running outta time.. If i don't know if this person can trust me by the time my brother moves west then im leaving and moving with my brother.. ill never see this person again..

LolitasHounds · October 2012

Garnet wrote:

Thanks guys.. I'm trying to show that what I said ill do I will. They just aren't giving me the chance too.. it doesn't help that someone I thought was one of my best friends keeps lying to this person about me which is makin them not wanna trust me even more.. I keep having to show proof that I haven't done anything wrong..

Hmmm... I may be out of line saying this, but I dunno how good of a friend your best friend is.... But for making this person trust you again, try a giant cookie. It's a lot more shallow than everyone else's advice to just be honest, but it works faster. My best friend and I have been exchanging giant cookies whenever we fight since middle school. Now we're both adults and live in totally different states, but we still send each other cookies after disagreements. It's not the cookie specifically, it's just doing a nice gesture for the person that really says 'Hey, I care about you!". I dunno, it's always worked for me... Good luck!

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