Text from my dad...

Cecekiwi · July 2012

Well I guess I will try to go into a back story... Though I could deal with this with just trying to talk to a few trusted friends and then of course a picture of my dad brings me to tears...so yeah. Once again need my vp to post about this. Back story / current situation kinda I don't even know where to start... I guess I can start with my parents divorced almost 10 years ago and my mother absolultely despises my dad for not being the provider he should have been and him never working or having initiative to do anything. So my mom married my "work-a-holic" stepdad and there 5 year anniversary is tommorrow... (Yes, I love my stepdad very much..he is practically like my dad.. but he isn't my dad." Well I guess I'm going to fast forward now. About 2 years ago after my dad choicing his girlfriend over his kid for one to many times and my mother calling me telling me I should do this or that I decided to text my dad and cut ties with him. A few months later my mom made me get back in touch with him after she told me I shouldn't see him again.. (blah blah) So reluctantly I went to see him again along with my two younger siblings. Things went well... and I really did miss him. So throughout that school year things went okay and my mom getting more aggitated when we would come back and say we had fun. So she decided that we would go and spend the summer with him... During that time he lost his job and ended up living with his friend. And we lived there too for the remaining of the summer. At the end of the summer we returned home. My mother hating that we had fun.. we ignored the fact that he didn't work... Guilt is a powerful thing to me.. and I pitied him. Afterward I kept touch with him for alittle bit longer. But things got bad at home and I faught with my mom and stepdad alot.. Most of it was about my dad. Soo I stopped talking to him to avoid fighting with my parents. Occasionally I'd talk to him without them knowing. But then he stopped talking to us. On holidays he's message me and have some excuse on why he couldn't do anything with us or call us because he was always homeless. So for 7 months we didn't hear from him... Then all of a sudden out of the blue he left me a four page text message. Hey baby girl this is ur dad. I just wanted to say that Im really sry for how this year has been. It never was my intentions to be so disconnected and out of touch with you guys. This year has been a pretty rough one and I’m not going to use that as a excuse. All I can say is that I am truly sorry and that I love and miss you guys with all my heart. I finally have a place now and I’m back working and would love to have you guys before school starts. If you can find it in ur hearts to forgive me please call. (((number))) Love u. For most of my life my dad didn't do much for his kids or really have so much to do with us. There was and is no doubt in my mind that he loves us. I know he loves his kids.. but in his own way.. He's not perfect. But he is my dad. In the entire time he has been divorced from my mom he only paid $50 in child support and he never paid for any of our school needs or anything. He wouldn't even pay for my band instrument so my mom and stepdad got me one. Financially and most of the time emotionally my dad hasn't been there for us like he should. And I hate when he randomly decides to message me expecting me to just totally forgive him and let him back into my life..... Even if I wanted too or if my bro or sis wanted to... or if I even knew what I wanted to do.. My mom and stepdad would go on some rant about how he never did anything for us and how they do everything... I hate that I can't have them both. I either get one or the other... and of course I choose the people I live with and have been there for me.. I really miss my dad. Every kid wants their dad in their life and I'm sure my siblings feel the same way. Atleast I know my brother misses our dad because 2 years ago he used to live with him. I never did because I moved with my grandparents after the divorce and my younger sis spent a year with him when she was just 2 or 3. But we all have had our momentswhen we were really close to him. I don't even know what to do about this anymore.. and I hate that things can't seem to make since and everytime I think things might be better things get rocky again. I put on a front when around my mom and stepdad because they don't understand me being upset over this... I don't think this "back story/ what I'm upset over" really explains it all... but I don't know what to say anymore. I guess I have just decided it doesn't matter what I want... I'd don't want to fight with my parents, so I can't have a relationship with my dad..atleast not until I'm graduated.. Maybe in a few many years I could reconnect with him.. but ughh I don't know. But here is my vent of my mixxed emtions... about my daddy messaging me after not hearing from him for over 7 months. -Kiwi

wetnose101 · July 2012

I agree cause I know how you feel. I am in Hawaii with only my dad because my parents are divorced too. He gets us for the summer and switching off winter break and spring break. We dont get to see him much in person because he lives almost 23,000 miles away. (I think) It is a 5 hour plane ride and my dad doesnt have a job and is living with my grandparents. My grandma...well she donates almost all her money to the philipines (sp?) Because Japan raided them or something. (I dunno ask meh granny.) Then she expects my grandpa to pay an All expense paid trip to Japan! We arent all made out of money you know.

sorry for the mini vent. xD but yeah. It gets really costly flying to and from California so often. Plus just like your mom and dad they have a bad relationship cause my dad cheated on her while he was at his high school reunion in Hawaii. Go bulldogs! So anyway, They really cant even be in the same room without geting into a full arguement about "why did you have to this to the children!!!??" blah blah blah. Sorry for another minivent. Anyway, Hang in there. You can PM me anytime to talk cause i am on almost everyday.

Cecekiwi · July 2012

Yeah I went through alot of those "Why did you do this" fights when I was younger. Those are the worst, mostly because I can not handle fighting. It's the quickest way to get me into tears. *Sighs* What is it with daddy's and no jobs these days.... I found out my dads new job is at a hotel right now.. but like I said in that really really long vent. I can't fight with my parents, so I can't have a relationship with my dad if I figured out what I wanted to do. (I'll ask your granny about it then....) I know I can always talk to my Wetty. Thanks. Hope things go well with your daddy too.

Dark Flame · July 2012

kiwi I think you should maybe sit down and talk to your mom and step-dad about how you feel, and if they start saying "well hes done this and this" just say "Yes, but he's still my dad, and I still love him". They can't take away the fact that he's your dad and always will be. If you feel like you can't talk to your mom and step dad in person, write them a note. It's got to be better than not seeing him, or not knowing what to do. PM me if you need to talk. Hope everything works out for you

Horsegirl210 · July 2012

TigerCub101 wrote:

kiwi I think you should maybe sit down and talk to your mom and step-dad about how you feel, and if they start saying "well hes done this and this" just say "Yes, but he's still my dad, and I still love him". They can't take away the fact that he's your dad and always will be. If you feel like you can't talk to your mom and step dad in person, write them a note. It's got to be better than not seeing him, or not knowing what to do. PM me if you need to talk. Hope everything works out for you

pretty much what I was going to say. <33

Cherokeezbaby · July 2012

I understand what you are going through. My parents are divorced as well. My father pays no money towards anything and never has. In the past three years, I have seen him four times; two times I went to him and two times he came down here. Well I refuse to go up to see him alone because he is a [edited; not child appropriate] and likes to hit me... often... Well he called me five or so months ago and I had not heard from him for almost a year and he acted like nothing was wrong with that. I told him the truth "I thought someone died because that is really the only time you call dad". Well of course he got mad about that and hung up. He did not call for my first mother's day, which was like six months after that, and when I called for father's day, he answered and then hung up. I thought is was his service, so I try again, but this time I called his house phone, and he did it again. He has not talked to me since. He has done this before, when he got remarried in the Bahamas, and I did not have the money to fly down there to see the wedding. Then he also did it when my sister was born and when he finally called about that, he blamed ME for him not calling! He said if I was as good as my new sister that maybe things would be different. So in my case, I should cut ties and not let him come back into my life, but in your case, your dad seems like he could have changed. You never know, he could have just woke up that day and realized what he was missing out on.

Howdy, Stranger!

Text from my dad...

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