I miss Taylor. I miss how he made me laugh and made me feel special. I miss the way he would talk to me, and the way he'd stay up until 2 in the morning just to keep me company, even if he had to work the next day. I would always get sad when he said he had to go, seeing me sad would make him sad so he'd stay just to make me happy, even if it meant he'd be exhausted the next morning... looking back now I feel so selfish, I wish I had done things differently. I miss how he'd love my dogs, even if they were vicious towards him, just because he knew that they meant the world to me. I miss how it'd be 90 degrees outside but he'd wear a sweater because he was always cold, yet he could walk around with his shirt off in the winter! A weird one he was, (temperature wise, at least). I miss how we knew every little thing about each other. I miss how we knew all of each other's secrets and wishes, as little kids we would always wish upon a star and then tell each other what we wished for because we couldn't bare to keep anything secret, maybe that's why our wishes never came true. I remember how I ended contact with him, my best friend. I remember how I purposely hurt him just because I was having a bad day and wanted to be left alone, just because I wanted to take my anger out on someone. I remember how he took those harsh words to heart and stopped contacting me, because I told him not to anymore. I remember when I gave up and gave in and contacted him, but he didn't answer, because his number had changed when he moved out of state. Now the only thing I have of him is a few of our old pictures and silly things we made as kids. Today I heard a song on the radio, one that he would always sing while playing his guitar, and I felt like crying. I still have that guitar, we both signed it when we were little.. boy was our hand writing ugly back then! He gave that guitar to me before the fight. Now here I am, venting about something that no one else would care about. Thank goodness for vent threads! I feel better now.
Goodbye old VP, hello disaster. xD