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How Could I Make it Sound Better?

Finster2Finster2
edited June 2011 in General Discussion
My unmade giftie color. It needs a little work, but I don't know how I could change it!<br><br>Soft Ashen w. Dark Feathers & Ideal Poise & Gait<br>(48 characters)<br><br>The feathers aren't supposed to be like bird feathers. They're the long and silky fur on the ears, tail, and elbows of a Saluki (which is the breed that will be dyed.)<br><br>Thanks Mo6173 for the base idea for the dye.

Comments

  • AlabamaAlabama
    98.71.70.197
    Now, I'm kinda a stickler when it comes to colors and describing things, no matter what game I play, so take this with that in mind..<br><br>I would do something like "Soft ashen with dark, silkily feathered points" and not do the poise and such. To me, a dye is supposed to be the coat of the animal, not how it stands or walks.
    <span style="background-color: rgb(255, 204, 0);">Along for the ride!</span><br>
  • Finster2Finster2
    76.173.171.79
    The color was supposed to represent a show dog, so I thought it was necessary to add the movement/beauty of the animal, but now that I think of it, I don't <span style="font-style:italic">really</span> want the words Poise & Gait where it says Color. BUT if I did take those things out, I'm afraid it would not resemble Mo's idea at all, and Mo was the winner of my color contest..<br><br>If the above makes any sense at all. XD
  • AlabamaAlabama
    98.71.70.197
    Hmm, everything I come up with is too long. Think I'll head for bed and maybe something will come to me in the night.
    <span style="background-color: rgb(255, 204, 0);">Along for the ride!</span><br>
  • Finster2Finster2
    76.173.171.79
    Alright. Thanks for your help!
  • AlabamaAlabama
    98.83.124.128
    Ideal poise in soft ashen & dark, silky feathers
    <span style="background-color: rgb(255, 204, 0);">Along for the ride!</span><br>
  • Finster2Finster2
    76.173.171.79
    All I did was change one word and sounds better! o.o<br><br>Soft Ashen w. Silk Feathers & Ideal Poise & Gait
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