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The End of the Road
We walk into situations in life, they make us happy and fulfill our needs, then they will slowly become tattered. I walked into VP over four years ago. I was a child pretty much, didn't know about real online communities, didn't know how to keep to myself. I got in a few fights even, believe it or not. I hated VP at first, so I'm not sure why I stayed - but I did. And I'm glad I did, because along that road, I made the right turn. I have made several friends on VP - Friends that helped me when I moved a few years back and lost all my RL friends. Friends who I relied on to smile and feel human. Friends who, under most circumstances, would do anything for me. I know they would, even if we are hundreds of miles away. I thank VP for giving me those friends. Sadly, they have all left VP as well. It feels like with each of them that left, a knot came undone, setting my ties to VP free. I'm finally free.<br><br>I still have some friends on VP, don't get me wrong. They aren't on much either though, and for the most part I feel like I'm left behind in some abandoned building, while the rest of my friends went out and flourished. I have no one left here to party with, no one to celebrate victories with - the lights have been turned off on my VP world.<br><br>I've finally realized I need to go out and find some sort of light again. One that will make me happy again the way VP did for many years. <br><br><br><br>I'm in college now - and it's stressful, but rewarding. However, I can tell you most of the times I sat in the study hall, I sat on the computer, on VP, and didn't study. I regret that a lot now. I don't know why I took such risks over a game. I would like this game if it was more relaxed as it once had been, but it's not. It's not the same light and fluffy atmosphere I remember - it feels hostile and competitive in a way I don't like. This competitiveness I'm sadly attracted to. I want to do better than anyone else, and it makes the game addicting. I don't want that anymore. I want to let go of the addiction. I want to be able to get on the computer and not feel the need to train dogs so I can make sure I get 10x4 fast enough.<br><br> I don't want to get on the computer and feel like I have to accomplish something with some breed attached to my real life - I truly do feel guilty to my RL dogs if I don't get their breed's 10x4 first. Now, instead, I'd rather feel guilty I'm not proving my dog as an individual, is the best out there in the real world. I want to spend time at my animal shelter and not feel the need to come home and work on some cool breed I saw there - yes, this has happened before. I don't want to look at dogs and think "Can I get that 10x4? Does someone already have it?" I want to look at things and see them as they are. It's getting annoying, in a way, because I'm just -always- worrying about VP. I don't want to worry about VP anymore. I want to drop it right here and say "I've left my mark, it's time to move on."<br><br>It's this competitiveness that has lead me to stop writing, to stop working with my RL dogs, and to stop living my life. I may not have friends right now in RL, not where I live currently, but I feel I need to feel free to leave the computer and socialize. The "high" I used to get from achieving goals on VP has turned into bitterness. I achieve goals, but I feel more like saying "I beat you" then "I accomplished something". I hate being so competitive. I don't want this to be some outlet for that secret desire to be better than everyone else. I'm not normally a competitive person, but this site has made me feel like I need to be.<br><br>The game itself? Everything is moving too fast and too seriously. 10x4s are now all the rage. You can't sell gifties anymore, so I don't see the point of them. Showing dogs has turned into "who has the highest courage and adap?". I liked it better when my dogs actually did well because they were good dogs, not because they had high courage/adap. The only way I can get that feeling anymore is with racing. I wish all racers the best of luck, I'm sure when I pop in next time my dogs will be slow again ;D The players seem to be bitter as well, as is the atmosphere of the game, to me, these days. I hope everyone will learn to relax and enjoy it so they don't end up like I am today as far as VP goes.<br><br><br><br>I want to move onto my real life. I want to be worried about the way my characters will react in my book, not if I'm falling behind on VPC. I want to be worried about an exam, not about when my sponsor is going to run out. I want to be worried about my agility trials in real life, not about whether my dogs are still top competitors. Mostly, I want to feel alive again.<br><br><br><br><br>I have accomplished a lot on VP. Several clean lined 10x4s, Brittanies and French Brittanies of which are close to me personally. Whether I finish the other two breeds close to me or not has yet to be determined, but I think my dogs - and the world - knows I love my dogs without having to have the best of them on some virtual site.<br><br>I have dyed several dogs - all of which came from purchases in game, none I have ever had to spend money on.<br><br>My competitive dogs have earned me a nice reputation, of which I am proud of.<br><br>I have gotten my personal breed, the Ocelot, of which is also close to me. I feel that is a good closing accomplishment for my time here on VP. <br><br>I'm not going to list everything, but, my kennel: <a href="http://virtualpups.com/index.php?r=kennel/view&id=122086"; target="_blank" class="bb-url">http://virtualpups.com/index.php?r=kennel/view&id=122086</a>; has everything listed, and will forever have everything listed.<br><br><br>As a person? Oh my. I have grown so much as a person. You can tell by my screen name, I was young and newbish, lmao. Now I'm much more well behaved, I'd like to think. I'm a stronger person as well. I've learned to stand up for myself better (though I'm still a softy) but, I'm trying! Maybe I've grown up too much, and that's why I feel this urge to move away from VP and into more productive work. Either way, I thank VP for being there as I grew up and went through some of the most difficult times in my life. Luckily, all those people who helped me through those times I talk to regularly. I wouldn't have had them, though, had it not been for VP.<br><br><br>I wish all of you well. I will be on chat occasionally, mostly to talk to Kally since she will be clueless as to why I've disappeared. I will be on the forums, maybe, though I don't really care to read up on VP stuff anymore. I will still be fairly active for the next couple weeks as I clean up kennels and try to make enough money for the lifetime sponsor. <br><br><br>As much as I seem like I despise VP at the moment, this isn't an easy decision. But, from this point onward, I will be making no more accomplishments. I don't want to be compared to anything anymore - I don't want to be someone that the community feels they need to beat. That is probably the majority of the reason I have grown tired of this site. I want to be removed from this game in as many ways as possible. This is the end of the road. Most of you reading this will continue onward, but I am at my destination, finally.<br><br><br><br><br><br><span style="font-style:italic"><br>The best way to keep up with me would be through DeviantArt, as I am on there every day, several times a day doing group work and whatnot. My name on there is Jaded-Night. Can note me there or PM me here, or catch me in chat.</span>
All good things must come to an end. All endings will begin new good things.
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S§A - Kitt's Training Kennel|S§A - Kitt's Breeding Kennel|S§A - Kitt's Prestige Kennel
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10.31.10 ❤</span></div>
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Temporary Training -- Breeding -- Showing -- Gifty Holding -- Decoy Line
S§A - Kitt's Training Kennel|S§A - Kitt's Breeding Kennel|S§A - Kitt's Prestige Kennel
S§A - Kitt's Boarding Kennel|S§A - Kitt's Rescue Kennel
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