Low Self-Esteem and being all emotional

Comments

• SunnyDaysDontLie

  December 2010 70.60.126.212

  Life sucks sometimes. Hell, I get that way. A lot. And it's about petty things, too. Like when my geometry teacher hands out a test, and I break down crying when I see the first question because I don't know what to do.<br><br>It's something about the female race and being unhappy about the way we look. If you're a size 00, you want to be a size 2 or 3 because you feel you're too skinny.<br>If you're a size 8 or 9 you want to be a size 4 or 5 because you feel you're too fat. If you're 5'2 you want to be 5'6. If you're 5'6, you want to be 5'2. If we have a guy who thinks we're so amazing, and beautiful, we deny the compliments because it's not what we think.<br><br>It's normal. <br><br>And people are rude. I've noticed that. And eventually, instead of finding faults in yourself, you find faults with other people. It makes you feel better, trust me. xD There's this one girl who hasn't liked me since I've been in school with her. She knows nothing about me other than how I look and act [at school]. I was talking to the girl that sat beside her, and, unprovoked, she proceeded to tell me "shut up, Kaytee, God doesn't like ugly."<br>And I was pissed. I wasn't hurt, or upset. I actually wanted to close the 5-feet space between us and break her nose. <br>She actually turned to the side, and asked the girl who I was talking to if she thought I was ugly. [She said no].<br><br>But the more and more I'm around this girl, and how I see her act around other people, I realize that she's the unattractive one. She's the one who is rude to everyone. She's loud and obnoxious. I can always pick out her voice in a crowd of 300. I could hear her at an 8th grade semiformal with the music playing loud. <br> I pick and choose my friends. If I believe they fit into a stereotype, I stereotype them. Then I watch how they act with other people who they aren't close to. If I was right, I treat the person with indifference. [It used to be with rudeness, but I changed that. Unless, of course, they're rude to me.] If I was wrong, I treat the person with indifference unless they'd like to become friends. Now, because of that I have like five friends, and only three of them I'm close to. I'd be closer to the third, but he lives in Michigan and only comes to visit his mom a few times a year.<br><br>This girl fits into that "mean" stereotype. I actually found out, surprisingly, that I'm more well liked than this girl. Because, when push comes to shove, I'm nicer to people I'm not friends with than she is. Even if I don't like someone, I'll compliment them. I'll be cordial. I'll make small talk.<br><br>The moral of this ramble is, people are rude. Kids are mean. Adolescents are emotional. It doesn't mean that you're ugly. It doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you, mentally.<br><br>It just mean's you're growing up. You don't know what to do, you don't know what to make of anything. And you get scared. <br><br>It's normal. I promise.

  "I am carrying all my hatred and contempt for power, its laws, its authority, its society, and I have no room for guilt or fear of punishment."-Diego Rios
  Semper Fi.
• Cecekiwi

  December 2010 96.19.94.197

  Thanks <br><br><br>Sorry,I'm not always good at wording things right,and when I try to words just blur togather and don't make since. <br>So,sincerly. Thank You.

  SmiLe :)