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Writing Themes {November} Ended!

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  • Winter and Fall were brothers. Their hatred for one another ran deep it all started when they were young children. Winter was always stronger and better at games. He had fair skin light blue eyes and messy blonde hair. While Fall was a brilliant young man, solving puzzles all the time. He had soft brown hair and deep green eyes. Their biggest flaw was that they hated each other, just despised one another.<br> <br> Athena watched their arguing from mout. Olympus . A deep scowl formed on her face as she watched all their young talent go to waste while they fought. “Athena what has you so worried?” Zeus asked one day after seeing her watch them for hours. “Not worried Zeus, just frustrated watching all their young talent go to waste while they fight these two brothers could be something big, if only they would work together imagine what they could do!” Athena said telling him everything. “Then make them give them a task,” Zeus said.<br> And that’s just what Athena did she told them of this terrible monster that lived in a cave high up in the mountains and that if they worked together they could kill it and she would give them a great reward. ”But Fall and Winter you must understand I need both of your help.” Athena said. And both brothers took off on the journey their armor light and strong for Athena had it made by the black smith god.<br> <br> They traveled and traveled for weeks until they finally reached the dragons cave. Fall remembered what Athena said, attack it at noon while it sleeps the deepest and watch out for its head for it breathes fire. So working together Winter went and wrestled the big beast’s head to the ground and fall plunged the sword deep into it’s chest. Relief washed over both of them, over joyed they hugged. And they traveled back to town arm in arm, having found new love for one another once they had finally worked together.<br> Then Athena appeared in front of them, and said “I’m really impressed I didn’t think you guys could manage it. But now it’s time for your reward. You shall be the seasons Fall and Winter bringing great beautiful changes to the world together.” And that they did. Fall bringing the first snow, and thanks giving and Halloween. And Winter bringing snowmen Christmas and happiness.
    <br><br><br><span style="font-weight:bold">1. What do you like most about the writing?</span><br>I like the whole idea of it. It's different, and takes on a more historical type feel. I've always liked these types of stories anyway, so it was a nice read.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">2. Which is your favorite line in this entry? Why?</span><br>"You shall be the seasons Fall and Winter bringing great beautiful changes to the world together." -- I love fall and winter, so I guess that just stood out for me because of that.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">3. Which area do you feel the writer is strongest in?</span><br>You're definitely strongest with having a good beginning, middle and end, and sticking to your plot idea.<br><br><br>
    The winters were always cold in Nebraska, even if it was just autumn like now. No matter how much firewood I bought or numerous blankets I put on my bed, I was always cold under its seasonal greetings. The skies had quickly turned dark at the brink of winter as the wilderness inevitably grew merciless with its dead, prolonging silence during its chilling nights. These savage like qualities left my imagination wandering to the breeding grounds of fear. Perched on our cabin was the sole source of light, mapping outside with its faint but reassuring self as it brought a human comfort to my heart from the lethal breath of the absolute wilderness. I lived with my mom but she wasn't home too often to give companionship through family love. She was hardly home at all. <br><br> I chewed on my fingernail as I thought of the creatures that lurked in the dark... skeletal, cold, hungry, and desperate for anything to eat as they would warily eye the cabin as a source of comfort from their hunger, staring back at my paranoid self. Quietly the night and its silence bore its teeth at me as I stared out of our cabin window. My mom was the only one I had here in this cold, dark state to keep me company, but it could hardly count. She cooked, cleaned, and worked hard for me, but it didn't make up for her lack of being here for me. The winter’s darkness was impenetrable as I tried to decipher what was beyond its deceiving blankness of black. I searched for the reason why it had to be so dark and cold during the fiery colors of Autumn. My eyes were watery from not blinking as they darted in every direction, waiting for a monster to pop up, but to my deep anxiety, there were none. Only my mom cooking.<br><br> “Mom?” I asked as I watched the porch light flicker like a shuddering person repulsed by the coldness. I couldn't help but shiver in agreement. I looked back at my mom in search of her response, but she didn't turn towards me. She kept to what she was doing and almost seemed like she would ignore me.<br><br>“Yes?” She irritably asked while chopping vegetables in a silent but ruthless fashion. Her eyes never leaving the cutting board. <span style="font-style:italic">Chop, chop, chop...</span><br><br>“When do you think it’ll snow?” I looked back outside again. It was so dark. How evil it looked outside repelled me as if it was glaring back into my eyes like a beast of nightmare. I could feel my mom’s eyes on my neck as my thoughts ended and unconsciously froze.<br><br>“I don’t know. Why? Why are you asking?” The chopping became louder as the darkness seemed to swallow my vision up and I lost my will to look as I protectively closed my eyes. The porch light went out when I opened my eyes again. It's comfort was well missed as a deep, haunting throb swelled within my stomach as the human fear of the unknown crept into me. The last of my comforts had vanished as quickly as a bat of an eyelash. How quickly it had gone without a goodbye...<br><br>“No reason. It was just getting dark out.” I replied. I shuddered as the cold darkness inevitably grew as if seeping underneath the door and nipping at my soul. Thankfully, My mom just sighed in the background. The skies were black as crow feathers and were just as ominous as them. The once brightly lit stars were devoured by its hidden anger and no longer shone for my childish sake. My mom had blond hair and blue eyes. I remember when they were once bright and cheery, but now faded to a gloom after father left us and we moved here...to Nebraska.<br><br>“Seriously,” my mom impatiently muttered after she threw the unripe vegetables in the boiling water. <span style="font-style:italic">Just like my childhood...</span><br><br>Nebraska…I hated the place.<br><br>Crit. wanted
    <br><br><span style="font-weight:bold"><br>1. What do you like most about the writing?</span><br>The description. I've always thought you did well with descriptions and word use to make everything work together really well and paint a clear picture. The way you combine words/ideas together makes it an enjoyable read.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">2. What can be improved?</span><br>I would have liked a little more dealing with why she was so afraid of the dark. It seems like it has something to do with her childhood? But, since it was so heavily emphasized, I feel something should have been described there to make it fit in a little better, or to help the reader understand why the main character is so stressed over it. At the same time, it's also nice to leave a little bit of the background story in the dark, so, this could go either way.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">3. Which areas do you feel the writer is strong in?</span><br>Descriptions, and dialogue. You kept the dialogue interesting by making sure the reader had an image of what was going on while they were speaking, rather than just throwing dialogue out there.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">4. Which do you feel the writer is weak in?</span><br>The repetition is the only real issue I see with this entry. <br><span style="font-weight:bold">5. What is one suggestion for the plot?</span><br>Went over this in the improved section.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">6. What is one suggestion for the composition?</span><br>I like it the way it is. Short, simple.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">7. What is your favorite line in this entry?</span><br>"I searched for the reason why it had to be so dark and cold during the fiery colors of Autumn."<br><span style="font-weight:bold">8. Is there anything you feel is awkward in this entry?</span><br>There was a bit of repetition as far as describing the darkness of winter, it seemed a little heavy on emphasizing that.<br><br><br><br>
    Beep beep beep beep! My obnoxious alarm clock. <br> "It can't be six-thirty already!" "It was five about ten minutes ago!" I rolled over and looked at my other clock. Yup. Six-thrity. Suddenly, I heard barking. Great, dog is up too. Pookie always barked in the morning until I got up and fed her. I pushed my covers off reluctantly. <br> "Uhggg" I groaned as the morning's frosty air swirled around my warm body. It felt as if all the warmth had fled my body all at once. <br> "Get up!" Oh no. Her too. <br> "Moomm! I don't wanna get up." <br> "I didn't either but SOMEBODY won't get up on their own!"<br> "Ok, just let me go the bathroom before I get dressed."<br> "Make it quick."<br>My legs didn't seem to want to bend this morning so instead of walking, I hobbled to the bathroom. When I got there I leaned on the windowsill and looked out the window. "Jack frost has been at it again." I thought as I scanned the frosty yard. My eyes landed on the trees. All the wonderful shades of reds, yellows, and oranges had turned into the same, ugly brown color. Except for the fur trees, of course. They were still green. <br> "Lets go!" my mom shouted from my room. Argh. Peeing would have to wait. I walked into the laundry room and grabbed they days neatly ironed clothes, thanks to my mom. Then, got dressed. As we headed down for breakfast, I got a glimpse of the front yard. Here, leaves were gently falling to the ground, as if someone was plucking them one by one and putting them down easily. The sky was a light shade of grey. <br> "Looks like it is going to rain." I said thoughtfully.<br> "Yeah, it's suppose to be real crappy for the rest of the week."<br> "Oh." I said, still lost in my mind. My mom noticed my tone of voice and snapped.<br> "Common. The dog is hungry, you need to pour your juice and get your laptop ready."<br> "Alrighty." I replied, snapping out of my trance. I coiled my laptop's charging extension and put it in it's case. The loaded the laptop itself in. That was done. "Dog food" I thought. I lumbered to the pantry and scooped a half cup of food. Then lumbered back to the dog's bowl and poured it in. I knelt down and stroked her back as she trotted by. Her fur was cold, which wasn't too surprising becuase she had just been outside. But the coolness in her fur was crisp, like the late fall air. <br> "Breakfast is ready." My mom grouched at me<br> "I'm coming, I'm coming"<br> "Ew! Mom! Oatmeal? Really?"<br> She shrugged. Not much bothered her. "It's cold out today. I thought you'd like it."<br> "Er, thanks." I said as I sat down to spoon the gobby food into my mouth. When that was done I gathered my Saxophone, laptop, and backpack. As I was headed out the door, my mom said,<br> "Don't you want your gloves?"<br> "Gloves?" <br> "Nah, I'll live."<br> "Alright...." She trailed off. As if she was debating to actually make me wear them. But, she didn't say anything. I stepped outside, expecting mild air, not to warm, not too cold. Man, was I wrong. The wind howled around me. It was pure ice. No warmth could be found within it. When I reached the top of my driveway, I set my saxophone down, shoved my hand into my pocket, and looked at the sky. It was still grey, but the shade was darker. They could've been referred to as "black clouds". My teeth chattered. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I whirled around, surprised. It was my mom, she was standing there dangling my gloves in front of my face. With that "I told you" look on her face. I hated those. I took them happily, though. Then, I heard the bus. <br> "There it is." She said, smiling.<br> "Get going." With that, I hoisted my saxophone up and walk to my stop. <br> "Jack Frost is just getting started." I thought happily. "Pretty soon the ground will be hibernating under a thick blanket of snow." <br><br>Crtique wanted. But please, not on grammar or spelling. :roll: I am aware of these. They are not my strong points.
    <br><br><br><span style="font-weight:bold"><br>1. What do you like most about the writing?</span><br>It has something a lot of people can relate to (at least if they've lived where it gets freezing, like I have). I read this and could say "Yep, that's what it's like" because I know what it feels like to get up early in the morning and head out into the freezing cold weather. It's horrible. You displayed that pretty well with the emotions.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">2. What can be improved?</span><br>I would like to see some description to go with the dialogue. I'm not a fan of dialogue being strung along without description to give it some sort of imagery. There's assumed emotion with the way you have it written like that, but there is nothing certain with how they are speaking. It's nice to use body language as well as tonal ques to help describe exactly what is going on with their speech. You did this more toward the end, though, so if there was some more toward the beginning, that would be nice.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">3. Which areas do you feel the writer is strong in?</span><br>Getting out an emotional response from the reader. Even with limited descriptions in some parts, the overall mood was very clear, and your characters worked well to display an overall feeling of the piece.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">4. Which do you feel the writer is weak in?</span><br>Some description could be added (no worries, I tell this to a lot of people because I happen to love description, especially of actions and emotions). It still gets a lot across without it, but I do like detailed moments that add some poetic texture to it. Not all people like this, though, so it'd be a personal choice.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">5. What is one suggestion for the plot?</span><br>I enjoyed the plot with it's simplicity. It worked well for a prompt.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">6. What is one suggestion for the composition?</span><br>I'd like to see space between the paragraphs, it looks a little cluttered to me. But, I also double space between paragraphs usually xD I'm weird.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">7. What is your favorite line in this entry?</span><br>"I stepped outside, expecting mild air, not to warm, not too cold. Man, was I wrong. The wind howled around me." --- that adds a lot of feeling to the piece<br><span style="font-weight:bold">8. Is there anything you feel is awkward in this entry?</span><br>Not really :D<br><br><br><br>
    The imprint of a boot<br>Against frosted grass.<br><br>The last leaf spirals<br>Lazily downward.<br><br>The sky transforms from<br>Azure to a steely white.<br><br>The sun sleeps in<br>And the moon visits early.<br><br>Snowstorms threaten from the north<br>And a slushy rain from the south.<br><br>Reawakened flames lick<br>And crackle in the fireplace.<br><br>And then, without warning, a flake drifts<br>Through the wind and lands on your shoulder.<br>And I try to hold on to it<br>But it melts away from me.<br>And so do you, with a glare<br>Turning on your heel.<br>Leaving footsteps in the frost.<br>And I want to follow, but another flake<br>Lands in your footprint, and I cannot understand your words<br>And even less your actions.<br><br>The snow falls onto my face<br>And melts, dripping down<br>Until I cannot tell which are tears of mine<br>And which are tears of the sky.<br>And it makes no difference to me.<br><br>My hands are red and chapped.<br>I hold them in front of the fire<br>And I relish the pain.<br><br><br>Critique please!!
    <br><br><span style="font-weight:bold"><br>1. What do you like most about the writing?</span><br>The description and word choices. Overall, all the words and phrases chosen have had a very nice feel to them. I really like a lot of these phrases due to the words/ideas portrayed through them. <br><span style="font-weight:bold">2. What can be improved?</span><br>Some of the stanzas are fragmented and seem "choppy". While I have the feeling this should be flowing, the periods at the end of every stanza make it feel abrupt and hard. There are just far too many periods throughout. I'm not sure if you were wanting the choppy feeling, but it would certainly read nicer if some of them were removed, and perhaps replaced with commas, if anything. I'm still learning a lot about poetry and punctuation myself - a simple period can really change the mood you're going for, I have learned.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">3. Which areas do you feel the writer is strong in?</span><br>Descriptions, word placements, and flowing ideas.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">4. Which do you feel the writer is weak in?</span><br>Using punctuation effectively, at least to the way I'm wanting to read the poem.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">5. What is one suggestion for the plot?</span><br>None.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">6. What is one suggestion for the composition?</span><br>None.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">7. What is your favorite line in this entry?</span><br>"Reawakened flames lick<br>And crackle in the fireplace."<br><span style="font-weight:bold">8. Is there anything you feel is awkward in this entry?</span><br>Not anything I haven't mentioned ;D<br><br><br>
    I figured I might as well enter. It's a tad short. xP<br><br>
    I remember like it was yesterday:<br>Nearly all the leaves had blown away;<br>Only one remained on that withered tree<br>Teetering, giving little hope to me<br><br>I knew I would die the moment it fell<br>Scared to death, I would be cast into hell<br>For the way I'd go would be my own<br>Eliciting not even a slight moan<br><br>That is the way I've always been, you see<br>Every year I wish to be set free<br>However, there are benefits to this<br>Another will give me a parting kiss<br><br>He brings with him a heart of cold and stone<br>Because without me he is all alone<br>To see him in such pain gives me sorrow<br>Yet I will meet him in the next 'morrow<br><br>To me he is Winter and I am Fall<br>My name will he continually call<br>But he should know his sorrow is wasted<br>For every year, of death I have tasted
    <br><br>Critique Wanted and Appreciated :)
    <br><br><br><span style="font-weight:bold"><br>1. What do you like most about the writing?</span><br>The flow/rhythm of it is very nice. Punctuation worked well, descriptions and word choices are nice and unique. I also must give you praise for the rhyming! <br><span style="font-weight:bold">2. What can be improved?</span><br>Some of it is confusing to me. I'm not certain what I should be interpreting with it. Then again, that fits the idea of poetry well. Poetry isn't supposed to always make sense, so I've learned in the past.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">3. Which areas do you feel the writer is strong in?</span><br>Punctuating properly :3<br><span style="font-weight:bold">4. Which do you feel the writer is weak in?</span><br>Clear ideas, I would say, but at the same time, poems are meant to be a little weird and left for the mind to interpret, so there's not really a weakness there.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">5. What is one suggestion for the plot?</span><br>Perhaps give a little more toward who "he" is? I'm more curious about that portion of the poem, so I'd like to see more about that part.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">6. What is one suggestion for the composition?</span><br>None.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">7. What is your favorite line in this entry?</span><br>"But he should know his sorrow is wasted<br>For every year, of death I have tasted" --- not sure exactly what this means, but for some reason I really like it.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">8. Is there anything you feel is awkward in this entry?</span><br>Not really.<br><br><br>
    <span style="text-decoration:underline"><span style="font-weight:bold">The First Signs Of Winter by *Mysterous Love* </span></span><br>Here in Nebraska weather changes very quickly, you can have a VERY warm summer then have a VERY cold winter. When November comes around I get out my winter clothes just in case, I always love the coming of Winter -although I dont really like the cold- The leaves falling off the trees,the wind blowing in my face, holidays coming and going, seeing family. But my most favorite part of Winter is sledding! <br><br>We have a big hill right next to our house that gets a great coat of ice then snow on top of it. It is best when you go to the very top and slide down. I cant wait to do it again! <br>I love the scenery in winter, a blanket of snow and nice thick clouds. It reminds me of a huge bed, although not so much when you lay down in it! Cccccoldd I say! <br><br>I would say the first signs of winter are Thanksgiving,decorations,leaves falling off trees,weather getting cold but this all to say "Lets go sledding!" <br><br><span style="color:#00BFFF"><span style="font-style:italic"><span style="font-weight:bold">I would like critique. Its sorta short and just what happens around me basically but Im givin it a try :)</span></span></span>
    <br><br><br><br><span style="font-weight:bold"><br>1. What do you like most about the writing?</span><br>I like that it's very realistic. It seems a bit documentary, compared to the other entries, so it's a nice splash of something a little different.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">2. What can be improved?</span><br>Descriptions! I'd love to hear more description. What's it like to go sledding? How does it feel with the cold wind in your face? The speed? How do you feel while you are sledding? Who sleds with you? Why do you enjoy it so much? Go in depth with all these ideas, it'd not only help "paint a picture" but it'd give more definition to what I think is your main idea for this, sledding.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">3. Which areas do you feel the writer is strong in?</span><br>Giving a good outline of many ideas. You have nice ideas, and good ones that you could certainly branch off.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">4. Which do you feel the writer is weak in?</span><br>Descriptions, going into deep details and sticking to one main theme. You added a lot of things here, but I think it would have been best for you to have stuck with just sledding.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">5. What is one suggestion for the plot?</span><br>Already given :3<br><span style="font-weight:bold">6. What is one suggestion for the composition?</span><br>None.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">7. What is your favorite line in this entry?</span><br>"It is best when you go to the very top and slide down. I cant wait to do it again! " --- There's a feeling of emotion here that gives the piece an exciting flare to it. <br><span style="font-weight:bold">8. Is there anything you feel is awkward in this entry?</span><br>No.<br><br><br><br>
    Aziu wrote:
    Sneaking in at the last minute? Why no, I am not. *shifty eyes*<br><br><br>The scents of fall were everywhere: the dry earthiness of falling leaves, the sweet smell of late-blooming flowers, the refreshing wetness of green grass. It all was hers to enjoy. Tainn inhaled deeply, closing her bicolor blue and gold eyes as she savored the smells. Though this was often the shortest season it was her favorite.<br><br>A fresh breeze twined through the tree trunks bringing down a shower of gold, red, and orange leaves. It played through the wolf's dark brown coat, gently brushing the hairs aside and cooling her skin. The afternoon sunlight peeked through the canopy and made the leaves above glow like stained glass.<br><br>The crunch of leaves in the underbrush behind her made her start. She spun round and came nose-to-nose with her black-coated mate. She inclined her head. The two broke into a head-long run, kicking up dead leaves as they wove between the trees. Their progress was marked by joyful yips.<br><br>The pair broke into an open meadow and increased their speed. They were not running in pursuit of life-giving sustenance; they were merely celebrating the joy of the season.<br><br>Panting, the wolves pulled up as they crested a small rise. Eyes bright and tongues lolling from their mouths, they eyed the prairie that stretched out before them. The breeze rolled across the field, turning the long grass into an undulating sea. Clouds settled overhead, blotting out the sun and darkening the scene. The wildflowers appeared as tiny colorful stars amidst the grassy waves.<br><br>A stronger, cold wind began to blow, whipping the grass violently about and tugging at the wolves' fur. Turning her back to the gale Tainn trotted down the hill followed closely by her mate. Winter was coming.<br><br><br>Critique requested. :)
    <br><br><br><span style="font-weight:bold"><br>1. What do you like most about the writing?</span><br>Description, I love the fall and you described it really well.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">2. What can be improved?</span><br>There was one spot, where the mate came in, I thought it was a bit odd that they just all the sudden broke out running. It felt all calm until that sudden point, so it might be nice for it to ease into running, or for there to be a better reason for it. I'm assuming it's just a characteristic of the two of them together, for them to behave that way.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">3. Which areas do you feel the writer is strong in?</span><br>Description, for sure. I liked how you described the wolves' actions, as well.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">4. Which do you feel the writer is weak in?</span><br>There wasn't really anything there I found you were weak in, just the above suggestion :3<br><span style="font-weight:bold">5. What is one suggestion for the plot?</span><br>Already given :3<br><span style="font-weight:bold">6. What is one suggestion for the composition?</span><br>None.<br><span style="font-weight:bold">7. What is your favorite line in this entry?</span><br>"A fresh breeze twined through the tree trunks bringing down a shower of gold, red, and orange leaves. " --- Great imagery :3<br><span style="font-weight:bold">8. Is there anything you feel is awkward in this entry?</span><br>No.
    All good things must come to an end. All endings will begin new good things.
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  • can we edit our enturys after you judged them?
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    I <3 Keith Urban!
  • Clover's First Snowfall<br><br>"I step outside and take in a deep breath of cool fresh air. I look around nervously, the color has left the world! The grass which was such a vibrant green is now covered in a blanket of white. The trees that held the leaves I loved to chase are bare and the birds that once inhabited the bushes are silent. I look up in question to my owner and see that her lips are curved in a wide smile. She looks down at me and says excitedly, "What happened Clover?" I don't know, I say to myself as I press my nose to the ground. It's cold! I yell as I lift my head up quickly, my ears pressed back against my head. I notice that some of the white covers the tip of my nose, so I lick it off. I can't taste anything, but the cold and wet.<br><br> I cautiously take a step forward. The ground is cold beneath my paws, but my thick fur keeps them from freezing. I take some more steps, curious now as to what this white, cold and wet powder is that I must now share my territory with. My nose is pressed to the ground, but I suddenly don't feel the cold, just an urgency to move forward and explore. "Do you like the snow?" My owner asks from behind me. I look back at her, my ears standing at attention. Is that what this is? I ask her with my head cocked to the side. Snow, what a funny word. I take a lick and feel the snow shrink in my mouth. Within seconds my mouth is full of... Water? This can't be, water is clear and comes from a magical metal fountain. This, snow, is white, solid and falls from the sky. <br><br>Suddenly, a ball lands ahead of me and my mind thinks of nothing else, but to catch it. I take a giant leap and land on it, but it's disappeared. Where did it go? I hear my name in the distance and look intently at my owner. She's holding a white ball! My eyes glaze over with excitement as I watch it release from her hand. I jump up to catch it and it explodes in my mouth and against my face. My tail is wagging so rapidly as I realize that snow can be a lot of fun. I let my feet decide where to go from now on and run in this fantastical world of white." <br><br>Critique me please!
  • This is now closed. :3 Judging is in process. You can still edit them, but whether or not I look at the edited version is beyond me xD<br><br>I will be posting the December themes in a moment so you may all get started on that :D I can already say Dutchess won the critique portion, considering she's the only one that did it ;; Maybe I should make that a larger prize than the writing one next time >.> I will post later today or tomorrow the three I have chosen.
    All good things must come to an end. All endings will begin new good things.
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  • ^^ I like to read and critique things, so hey, it's all good with me :)<br><br>As for my entry, I'll explain a few things just because I like to explain stuff. xD<br><br>The "I" is Fall. I took the viewpoint that Fall was more of a mythical character or person, as is Winter. Fall is a girl who is watching the leaves, well, fall. She's watching the leaves fall because when the last leaf falls, it becomes Winter, so she "dies." She's afraid because of the fact that she will die and be "cast into hell" because she chooses to die when the last leaf falls instead of waiting a little bit longer and letting death take it's toll, so she essentially kills herself a few days before she is to die [technically, it doesn't become fall when the last leaf actually falls, hence her dying early]. <br>Every year goes along with her being a season. She's "set free" because she's not the season anymore, it's someone else. The benefit is the parting kiss of Winter. The he is Winter - he's cold, like winter. However, Winter and Fall are lovers, so since she has died, he is cold and alone. Naturally, she's upset that he's sad, but she knows she'll see him when his season is over also. I said in the last stanza who they are. Being lovers, he calls her name, like cold winter winds.<br><br>"But he should know his sorrow is wasted<br>For every year, of death I have tasted"<br><br>Winter knows that Fall "dies" every year when her season ends, yet she "comes alive" when Summer ends. So, he should know not to be sad about her death because she dies every year. xD<br><br>Hope that explained a little bit. . . it's a tad complicated. lol
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  • Did mine make it into the entries?
    <br><br>Yes, I'll be accepting yours :)<br><br><br><br><br>& Dutchess, thanks for the explanation! Makes so much more sense now xD Very deep stuff. ;D
    All good things must come to an end. All endings will begin new good things.
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  • The three entries have been chosen:<br><br>#1<br>
    The imprint of a boot<br>Against frosted grass.<br><br>The last leaf spirals<br>Lazily downward.<br><br>The sky transforms from<br>Azure to a steely white.<br><br>The sun sleeps in<br>And the moon visits early.<br><br>Snowstorms threaten from the north<br>And a slushy rain from the south.<br><br>Reawakened flames lick<br>And crackle in the fireplace.<br><br>And then, without warning, a flake drifts<br>Through the wind and lands on your shoulder.<br>And I try to hold on to it<br>But it melts away from me.<br>And so do you, with a glare<br>Turning on your heel.<br>Leaving footsteps in the frost.<br>And I want to follow, but another flake<br>Lands in your footprint, and I cannot understand your words<br>And even less your actions.<br><br>The snow falls onto my face<br>And melts, dripping down<br>Until I cannot tell which are tears of mine<br>And which are tears of the sky.<br>And it makes no difference to me.<br><br>My hands are red and chapped.<br>I hold them in front of the fire<br>And I relish the pain.<br><br>
    <br><br>#2<br>
    <br>I remember like it was yesterday:<br>Nearly all the leaves had blown away;<br>Only one remained on that withered tree<br>Teetering, giving little hope to me<br><br>I knew I would die the moment it fell<br>Scared to death, I would be cast into hell<br>For the way I'd go would be my own<br>Eliciting not even a slight moan<br><br>That is the way I've always been, you see<br>Every year I wish to be set free<br>However, there are benefits to this<br>Another will give me a parting kiss<br><br>He brings with him a heart of cold and stone<br>Because without me he is all alone<br>To see him in such pain gives me sorrow<br>Yet I will meet him in the next 'morrow<br><br>To me he is Winter and I am Fall<br>My name will he continually call<br>But he should know his sorrow is wasted<br>For every year, of death I have tasted
    <br><br>#3<br>
    Aziu wrote:
    <br><br>The scents of fall were everywhere: the dry earthiness of falling leaves, the sweet smell of late-blooming flowers, the refreshing wetness of green grass. It all was hers to enjoy. Tainn inhaled deeply, closing her bicolor blue and gold eyes as she savored the smells. Though this was often the shortest season it was her favorite.<br><br>A fresh breeze twined through the tree trunks bringing down a shower of gold, red, and orange leaves. It played through the wolf's dark brown coat, gently brushing the hairs aside and cooling her skin. The afternoon sunlight peeked through the canopy and made the leaves above glow like stained glass.<br><br>The crunch of leaves in the underbrush behind her made her start. She spun round and came nose-to-nose with her black-coated mate. She inclined her head. The two broke into a head-long run, kicking up dead leaves as they wove between the trees. Their progress was marked by joyful yips.<br><br>The pair broke into an open meadow and increased their speed. They were not running in pursuit of life-giving sustenance; they were merely celebrating the joy of the season.<br><br>Panting, the wolves pulled up as they crested a small rise. Eyes bright and tongues lolling from their mouths, they eyed the prairie that stretched out before them. The breeze rolled across the field, turning the long grass into an undulating sea. Clouds settled overhead, blotting out the sun and darkening the scene. The wildflowers appeared as tiny colorful stars amidst the grassy waves.<br><br>A stronger, cold wind began to blow, whipping the grass violently about and tugging at the wolves' fur. Turning her back to the gale Tainn trotted down the hill followed closely by her mate. Winter was coming.<br>
    <br><br><br><br><br>Thanks to everyone who entered! There was a nice turnout of entries, so there is another monthly themes that has been posted! <br><br><br>To vote: Please PM me with your favorite of these three. Anyone can vote. If you are voting and you are one of these three, you cannot vote for yourself<br><br>Thanks :D
    All good things must come to an end. All endings will begin new good things.
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  • Sorry for the delay everyone, I've been very busy with finals and everything coming up =/<br><br><br><br>Anyway!<br><br><br>Winner of Critique is Dutchess<br><br>You may collect your prizes:<br><a href="http://virtualpups.com/index.php?r=dog/view&id=1758577"; target="_blank" class="bb-url">http://virtualpups.com/index.php?r=dog/view&id=1758577</a><br>Contract of neggie 5 mill to Jaded Night<br>For the banner, just send me info in a PM :3<br><br><br>and the winner of the writing portion is Aziu<br><br>You may collect your prizes:<br><a href="http://virtualpups.com/index.php?r=dog/view&id=1820909"; target="_blank" class="bb-url">http://virtualpups.com/index.php?r=dog/view&id=1820909</a><br>Contract of neggie 5 mill to Jaded Night<br>For the banner/icon, just send me info in a PM :3<br><br><br>Thank you again to all who participated :3 Please check out the December theme!
    All good things must come to an end. All endings will begin new good things.
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  • Thank you! :) Contract sent and bid placed from Aziu and I'll send you the banner info shortly. ^^ Congrats to the other contestants on such wonderful writing. :)
  • Thanks so much! Contract sent from *Amika* and bid placed from Dutchess_Gifties. ^^ I'll PM you about the banner ASAP. Congrats to all, especially Aziu! I loved the story.
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  • All bids/contracts accepted :3
    All good things must come to an end. All endings will begin new good things.
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