A Guide for the Vent Board

RoyalRaccoon · October 2010

So, some people are not happy with the vent board due to the fact that it can cause fighting, but it seems like it will stay. I suggested that some type of "guide" be created to help people use the vent section better. These aren't going to be rules, just recommendations for those who don't want to cause fights. I don't want to create a guide on my own, since so much of the VP community contributed to the vote, so please share input on more that can be added, how this can be condensed down to a smaller size, whether you agree or disagree with what I've put so far, etc. Once we all agree on something, hopefully it can be put in the vent section as a sticky.

Suggested Topics to Post 1. Accomplishments in the game and life. Basically anything you are proud of that is causing you to feel successful or happy. 2. Frustration with the game like loosing an event, or accidentally over training a dog. We all play Virtual Pups, and thus we can all relate to most of the frustrations. 3. Relatable annoyances outside of Virtual Pups. Maybe you have an annoying sibling, or your homework is too hard. A lot of members can relate to that, and will be able to empathize better. 4. Topics suitable for all ages. Suggested Topics to Avoid Posting on Virtual Pups 1. Personal information about you or your family that brings forth intense emotion or defensiveness. This kind of information is best kept to yourself, or between your family, close friends, or a counselor that are familiar with you and the situation, so that provoking your frustration is avoided. 2. Controversial topics that entertain strong opinions, such as politics, animal rights, religion, etc. No one is saying that you can’t have your opinion, but these topics often lead to argumentative debates over who is right and who is wrong, which puts strain on the whole Virtual Pups community. 3. Mature topics, or topics that include some mature content without going against the Virtual Pups rules. The majority of Virtual Pups is made up of children, and individuals who are uncomfortable, or unfamiliar with some topics, and thus more likely to respond in a way that could provoke others. If you wouldn’t talk about it in front of a 5 year old or your grandmother, then it’s probably not recommended for Virtual Pups. 4. Anything made while you are feeling intense emotion, because you are more likely to be irrational. It is not productive to vent while irrational, because you are more likely to provoke yourself and others even further. Take 15 minutes to relax a little, and then make a calm post about how you are feeling. Suggestions to Avoid Provoking Others and Causing Conflicts 1. Fact-opinion confusion. Be careful with your wording. Stating opinions as facts can cause defensiveness in people. Try using a phrase like “In my opinion…” 2. Check you motives before posting or responding to another person. If you are posting something to seek strictly agreement, attention, or belittle another then it’s recommended that you do not post. Venting is about letting emotions out, and responses should be with the intent to empathize or constructively help someone. 3. Try to follow the “golden rule.” If you are posting something you would not want said back to you, then you should not post it, regardless of whether or not it is true. 4. Re-read your post 3 times before posting it to make sure it is clear, and understandable. All too often conflicts occur due to misunderstandings. 5. Always ask for clarification if you are unsure about something that has been said, or avoid responding all together. When to “Walk Away” or “Agree to Disagree” 1. If something you have read is causing you to experience intense emotions. 2. When another person is clearly not open to suggestions or advice. 3. When you see a controversial topic you don’t agree with. 4. When it seems like you are arguing over opinions.

PiotrPies · October 2010

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tarnish · October 2010

My internet made me double post. xD Please ignore this one

tarnish · October 2010

Thank you Sushi for this! I couldn't have said anything better than what you have mentioned and I wholeheartedly agree with what you've mentioned. I have two suggestions that maybe you would find good enough to add in. The first one is talking about other players. Talking about a specific player of virtualpups in a vent, regardless if a name is mentioned (mentioning a name is against the rules) is not a good idea. More often than not, the player talked about will find out that you had posted about them and it will cause fights. Im sure you can find a better way to word this. I admire the way you are able to put your ideas together

The second may be able to be added on to the "when to walk away" part. Most of the time, typing out your vent or response to a topic and then deleting it may help you feel better. It goes back to writing a letter to someone and then ripping it up. Another suggestion to go along with this is to click away from the vent and look at it again the next day and see if what you were going to type as your resonse was a good idea. Most of the time I'll have the response box open and am starting to type but then click away and read it later when I've cooled down. I find that in the moment I was too fired up and that the kind of response I would have made wouldn't have been necessary.

RoyalRaccoon · October 2010

Piotr_Pies wrote:

I like all of your suggestions very much. I would only add that the above sentence that I quoted from you could be placed a little more prominently in the guide, as it serves to remind everyone of the purpose for the Vent section. There are some very tough topics that some younger players are confronting, such a divorce in the family. I am not so certain that the onus to avoid such emotional topics should be placed upon them as an additional burden. I think instead it is important for the rest of us to try and put ourselves in their shoes and respond in a positive caring way with the goal of providing help instead of harm. I too would suggest they talk with a counsellor, but I think we can all cut them a little slack too. If one is uncertain whether a shared experience or advice would be hurtful, then the old physicians' adage of "First, do no harm" should apply and one should refrain from making the comment altogether. "Be willing to forgive and forget" could also be another principle to adopt. Thank you very much, PrinceSushi, for getting this recommendation guide started!

Thank you for the suggestion, and I agree. I had actually written an introduction that gave more emphasis on what the vent board is for, but I took it out, because I first want to hear what other people think the vent board is for. Please keep in mind that these are just recommendations. In no way are they rules, and I do not plan to suggest they become rules. Nothing is stopping a member from posting something personal, such as a divorce in their family, if they really want to, and I'm sure the community would try to support them if they did. I'm just trying to keep in mind what Virtual Pups is, and who populates it. You bring up a good point in saying that we should all try to be more understanding of another individual's hardships, but unfortunately this site is predominately populated by young children, a lot of which don't know how to handle those kind of situations, or how to comfort someone going through those situations. Such situations can also make a person very defensive, which can cause regretful statements to be said if they happen to hear something they don't agree with. I agree with refraining from posting out of uncertainty. I think bits and pieces of that idea are in what I wrote, but I will try to work that in, so it is much more clear. It's good advice. Thank you Piotr_Pies.

tarnish wrote:

Thank you Sushi for this! I couldn't have said anything better than what you have mentioned and I wholeheartedly agree with what you've mentioned. I have two suggestions that maybe you would find good enough to add in. The first one is talking about other players. Talking about a specific player of virtualpups in a vent, regardless if a name is mentioned (mentioning a name is against the rules) is not a good idea. More often than not, the player talked about will find out that you had posted about them and it will cause fights. Im sure you can find a better way to word this. I admire the way you are able to put your ideas together The second may be able to be added on to the "when to walk away" part. Most of the time, typing out your vent or response to a topic and then deleting it may help you feel better. It goes back to writing a letter to someone and then ripping it up. Another suggestion to go along with this is to click away from the vent and look at it again the next day and see if what you were going to type as your resonse was a good idea. Most of the time I'll have the response box open and am starting to type but then click away and read it later when I've cooled down. I find that in the moment I was too fired up and that the kind of response I would have made wouldn't have been necessary.

Thanks Tarn. The only reason why I didn't include talking about other members of VP is due to the fact it is already in the rules for the vent board; However, now that I think about it, I might add that in, because people do still go around said rule by just removing the names. I can't even imagine how horrible it would feel to come across a post that was secretly talking about you. I don't know if the first part of the second suggestion best fits in the 'When to "Walk Away"' section, but it is good advice, and I know I've done it too. I might add a "Tips" section, or fit it in somewhere. As for the second part of the second suggestions, I feel it kind of goes along with the 1st recommendation of the "When to Walk Away" section. Do you agree?

tarnish · October 2010

Yes, I agree. What happened was when I was typing to just leave the topic alone for awhile and return to it later, I happened to remember the idea about typing and then just deleting. My thoughts got scrambled as I got sidetracked by new ideas.

Alabama · October 2010

Those look really good to me. I more often than not, start posting on a topic, then delete it before posting and come back later to read it again.

Kazuko · October 2010

I like those ideas. xD I usually type something, read it, and ask myself "If I saw this, and I wasn't the person involved, how would I react? >_>" and then delete the whole thing. xD;

RoyalRaccoon · October 2010

Thanks for the input everyone. ;D I'll try to add some of the suggested things in, and see if I can condense this to be just a little bit shorter tonight. When I'm done I'll post it up in this thread for everyone to review.

RoyalRaccoon · October 2010

New Version. It got longer. lol.

This is a guide created to assist the members of Virtual Pups when using the “Vent” section of the Virtual Pups forum. These are not rules, but you are encouraged to take them into consideration. To view the rules for the Virtual Pups website please follow this link: <a href="http://virtualpups.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=29&t=43840"; target="_blank" class="bb-url">http://virtualpups.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=29&t=43840</a>. Remember that venting is about letting emotions out, and responses should be with the intent to empathize or constructively help someone. Suggested Topics to Post 1. Accomplishments in the game and life. Basically anything you are proud of that is causing you to feel successful or happy. 2. Frustration with the game like loosing an event, or accidentally over training a dog. We all play Virtual Pups, and thus we can all relate to most of the frustrations. 3. Relatable annoyances outside of Virtual Pups. Maybe you have an annoying sibling, or your homework is too hard. A lot of members can relate to that, and will be able to empathize better. 4. Topics suitable for all ages. Suggested Topics to Avoid Posting on Virtual Pups 1. Personal information about you or your family that brings forth intense emotion or defensiveness. This kind of information is best kept to yourself, or between your family, close friends, or a counselor that are familiar with you and the situation, so that provoking your frustration is avoided. 2. Controversial topics that entertain strong opinions, such as politics, animal rights, religion, etc. No one is saying that you can’t have your opinion, but these topics often lead to argumentative debates over who is right and who is wrong, which puts strain on the whole Virtual Pups community. 3. Mature topics, or topics that include some mature content without going against the Virtual Pups rules. The majority of Virtual Pups is made up of children, and individuals who are uncomfortable, or unfamiliar with some topics, and thus more likely to respond in a way that could provoke others. If you wouldn’t talk about it in front of a 5 year old or your grandmother, then it’s probably not recommended for Virtual Pups. 4. Avoid posting anything made while you are feeling intense emotion, because you are more likely to be irrational. It is not productive to vent while irrational, because you are more likely to provoke yourself and others even further. Take 15 minutes to relax a little, and then make a calm post about how you are feeling. Suggestions to Avoid Provoking Others and Causing Conflicts 1. Fact-opinion confusion. Be careful with your wording. Stating opinions as facts can cause defensiveness in people. Try using a phrase like “In my opinion…” 2. Check you motives before posting or responding to another person. If you are posting something to seek strictly agreement, attention, or belittle another then it’s recommended that you do not post. Venting is about letting emotions out, and responses should be with the intent to empathize or constructively help someone. 3. Try to follow the “golden rule.” If you are posting something you would not want said back to you, then you should not post it, regardless of whether or not it is true. 4. Re-read your post 3 times before posting it to make sure it is clear, and understandable. All too often conflicts occur due to misunderstandings. 5. Always ask for clarification if you are unsure about something that has been said, or avoid responding all together. When to “Walk Away” or “Agree to Disagree” 1. If something you have read is causing you to experience intense emotions. 2. When another person is clearly not open to suggestions or advice. 3. When you see a controversial topic you don’t agree with. 4. When it seems like you are arguing over opinions. 5. If your post or response will potentially do more harm than good. Tips 1. Try writing out a post or response, delete it, and then give yourself some time to think about if it’s really worth rewriting and posting. 2. Be willing to forgive another member, and move on from the disagreement. A lot of people get caught up in emotion when they post to the vent board, and don’t actually mean to be so harsh. 3. Your way is not always the right way. Be open to, or at least respectful of advice from other members. No one is forcing you to follow the advice. 4. Be confident if your advice or shared experiences. If you are not confident in what you are writing, then don’t post it.

Alabama · October 2010

Still looks good to me. Good job

RoyalRaccoon · October 2010

Thanks Bama~ I guess we should just wait a day or so to see if anyone else has anything to add or say, and then you can put it in the vent section.

Alabama · October 2010

Whenever you're ready, go ahead and post it in vent and I'll sticky it

RoyalRaccoon · October 2010

I'll go ahead and post it to the vent board. I assume that if anyone has anything they'd like to add, then they can post it here, a new version can be created, and then upon approval it can be edited into the sticky.

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A Guide for the Vent Board

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