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DiamondPuppy0809 · June 2010

BACK OFF RIGHT NOW. Dude, I hate drama. Hate is a strong word. I hate drama. And there's this one chick... that is so dramatic. I think I've told you about her before. I know I vent a lot, but evaluating the situation and typing it out here helps me calm down and even laugh at myself for being so pissed off about something stupid. But I don't think I'm going to laugh at myself this time. This dramatic chick, who we're going to call Gertrude (because I don't like that name. >:/), is my boyfriend's ex girlfriend. She's obsessed with him. She tells her friends she loves him. She even said to his best friend, YESTERDAY, "Why is he going out with her?" (HER = me, in case you didn't know). "She's a jerk to him and everybody." Dude. Say what you want, I'm only a jerk to you because even BEFORE I went out with your ex boyfriend, I already didn't like you because I don't like stuck-up snobs that gossip 24/7 and create unneccessary drama. SHUT UP. So, when I heard about this, I was ticked. I am STILL ticked, considering this Gertrude chick has said many, many things about me. It doesn't get old for her, she just keeps talking about me and calling me a jerk. (BTW: Jerk is replacing a much more mean word.) I couldn't care less what people think of me, but when Gertrude starts to get between me and my boyfriend, you bet I'm going to do something about it. I'm not going to let her ruin this for me. If she ever does, someone better hand her a big ass sheild. And the thing is, she IS trying to get between us. Since Saturday, she's made time to hang out with my boyfriend while knowing I wouldn't be around. And he hasn't hung out with her for like a year. All I want her to do is GIVE IT UP and leave me and my boyfriend alone before I get more pissed.

To top it off, my ex best friend pissed me off today too. I was bugging my boyfriend about reading his math grade (and he didn't want me to). He walked off to go get more work from the teacher and I lifted up some papers and glanced at the envelope his math grade was in. I thought about looking at it, but decided against it because he didn't want me to when he'd been around. So I put the papers back down over top of it and got back to my work. My boyfriend came back and sat down. "I thought about looking at your grade, but I didn't because you didn't want me to," I told him. I wanted him to know I respected his privacy. I think that's good, I wouldn't want him looking at something of mine if I had told him not to, right? "Okay," he said. "Liar," my ex best friend says, looking at me. "I didn't look at it..." I say back. "Liar," she says again. "Whatever," I say, glaring. Wtf was that about? Later I thought maybe she had assumed I did look at it just because I lifted the papers up. But I didn't, it was tucked away in an envelope, I couldn't see it. But even if I had looked, and lied to him, it was none of her business anyways... o.o Not that I would ever lie to him like that. That's stupid. Pfft. Friggen four course meals to all that read.

Celia_1234321 · June 2010

eh, people are dumb. xD Why would your boy toy letcha look at his math grade?

Jaymiec · June 2010

When I was younger I went through the same thing with my Husband`s ex girlfriend. I had to threaten her one time for not leaving him alone. She would stalk him at school and would not leave him alone. I am not saying to go through dramastic level that I did But it will eventually stop trust me

Until then you and your boyfriend just stay strong and together. Love can get through anything ^^

Celia_1234321 · June 2010

Celia_1234321 wrote:

eh, people are dumb. xD Why would your boy toy letcha look at his math grade?

i ment why wouldn't he xD typo's suck and Jm is right if he loves you this other girl wont matter and she will eventually lose interest

RoyalRaccoon · June 2010

People have different approaches, but IMO the best two way are to either confront the person just long enough to ask they stop whatever is bothering you, or to completely ignore them. If she still wants to spread things(telling people you're mean and what not), go to the principle/officials and request that they tell her to stop talking about you because it's affecting your time at school. Tell your boyfriend how it's making you feel as well. If he's not her best friend, and he hasn't hung out with her for a year, then it should be no big deal to start avoiding her beyond a student-to-student(I'm assuming all of this is going on at school) relationship. My brother had an ex-girlfriend that would do stuff like the second half of your vent. I think people like that are just bitter. If it doesn't affect your life, and you weren't asked to butt it, doing so is just rude.

Alabama · June 2010

She'll stop creating drama if you stop reacting to it. I had the most drama free time in high school simply because I refused to be drawn in. Ignore it, walk away from it, don't pay drama any attention and people stop being dramatic around you.

reina__ · June 2010

No offense but drama is fueled by reaction. I wasn't up for drama in junior/senior high school so I just stayed away from people like that.. never gave them the time of day or a reason for drama.

Hibachi · June 2010

I disagree, there are girls out there who will stop at nothing. I was in a situation similar to Ludie's last year, my boyfriends ex didn't stop UNTIL I reacted. And it didn't end well on her part.

DiamondPuppy0809 · June 2010

I know all about the whole 'if you don't react, it'll stop'. Try using that on everybody that tries to create drama. It doesn't always work. Of course I've ignored it... but that can only work for so long. Just like kids in middle/elementary school that get picked on. Everyone tells them, "Ignore it, they'll leave you alone." Yeah, that doesn't apply to everyone. Avla, there are definitely girls out there like that. It sucks, I'm sick of 'em. I might have to react pretty soon, this chick has been bothering me for the past 6 months and I haven't really done anything, except basically let her know that I DO NOT like her.

Alabama · June 2010

There's a difference between ignoring them and pretending to ignore them. If you were ignoring them, it wouldn't matter to you what someone else is doing or saying. Do you get where I'm coming from? I remember being new to a school my sophomore year. I was assigned, by the principal, to go around school with a junior boy for my first day. The next day, as I was leaving the lunch room, a girl I don't think I'd ever seen before gets up in my face and screams at me to leave her boyfriend alone. Later, I discovered her boyfriend was the boy assigned to show me around. Ignoring (no reaction) is giving her a blank stare, and walking around and away from her as if what she just said/did hadn't happened. Pretending to ignore (but reacting) her would be walking away, but still letting it bother you. It will show in your face and the way your carry yourself that you're upset/bothered. Ignoring is when other people who witness the happening come over to talk about it and you just wave your hand like it's nothing and change the subject or leave to go do something else as if it never happened, because it really doesn't matter to you. Pretending to ignore would be to listen and let the other girls be indignant for you, take your side, get you riled up or you feel like you have to ask questions or respond in some way. Whether you intend to or not, whether you say anything or not, just listening will give the indication that you care and if you talk, what you say will get back to the other person in one form or the other and it probably won't be what you said at all. Pretending to ignore doesn't work, because word always gets back to the other person that they did get your attention, that you're upset or that you reacted in some way. I ignored and though that particular girl and I were never friends, we were never enemies, at least not in my book. Don't know what she thought of me. After a couple weeks of trying to get a reaction from me and failing, she gave up. The only reason I remember this particular incident is because I did end up dating the girl's boyfriend about a month after this and he brought it up one time that that situation was part of the reason he dumped her. Situations similar to this happened every time I was new at school or as an adult, new to a job, and my parents made sure I was new at school at least once a year. I graduated as a Junior and still attended 14 different schools. There's always bullies that think new people are fair game or drama queens who can't live without trying to drag the new person into it or insecure people who feel their "niche" is threatened by the you, even as adults. It always took about a month for everyone to settle down, as long as I didn't get negative about myself or anyone else or allow anyone else to determine how I was feeling. Ignoring ignorance has never failed me and still doesn't. There are dramatic people, bullies and insecure numbskulls of all ages in this world and there is no way to not become their targets at some point. My mom and sister are both big time gossipers and poop stirrer uppers, but they usually only take one reminder that I won't tolerate it to stop the dramatics around me. My husband now can become overly dramatic on a pretty regular basis, but he knows when I walk out of the room, I've had enough and when he's ready to talk like a normal person, I'll be back. The difference being that you can't pretend, they will find out and will get the satisfaction/attention/whatever it was they wanted and they'll be back for more. You have to honestly not care what someone who means nothing to you says or does. The problem with kids being bullied and people tell them to ignore it, is they never address the self esteem with the kid themselves. They aren't told how to ignore it or how to honestly not let the other kid bother them. So the kid pretends to ignore it, and the bully comes back.

reina__ · June 2010

Avla wrote:

I disagree, there are girls out there who will stop at nothing. I was in a situation similar to Ludie's last year, my boyfriends ex didn't stop UNTIL I reacted. And it didn't end well on her part.

Well.. if you don't care about it.. then it doesn't matter what the girls think.

Hibachi · June 2010

reina__ wrote:

Avla wrote:

I disagree, there are girls out there who will stop at nothing. I was in a situation similar to Ludie's last year, my boyfriends ex didn't stop UNTIL I reacted. And it didn't end well on her part.

 Well.. if you don't care about it.. then it doesn't matter what the girls think.

I didn't care, but it was endangering my relationship and there was A LOT more to it then "She's was talking bad about me". It's kind of hard to just let it go when it stared you in the face every day or your life, it got old and once I took action I didn't have to deal with it anymore.

Hibachi · June 2010

Sometimes confronting the person is a solution.

RoyalRaccoon · June 2010

Avla wrote:

Sometimes confronting the person is a solution.

I agree that sometimes confrontation is a solution. Some people seriously take ignoring as submitting, and thus won't stop in order to feel empowered, or they hold too strong of a grudge(or maybe an obsession) to stop unless forced. However, in my opinion it's always better to have someone of actual power and significance do it like a boss if it's coworker, a principal or teacher if it's a student, or the police if it's getting to the point of being harassment. Most one-on-one confrontations don't go well unless you can control yourself very well, which is obviously hard if you've gotten to a point where confrontation is necessary.

reina__ wrote:

Well.. if you don't care about it.. then it doesn't matter what the girls think.

I agree, but sometimes it goes beyond just thinking. My brother ignored his ex-girlfriend when she started getting real nasty, and it really started to hurt him because other people were believing what she was saying, and he was eventually threatened with physical harm by other kids(who were her friends and bought into the act). No one can just ignore as their friends turn on them because one person doesn't know when to stop. Eventually she had to be confronted for harassment/bullying and threats, but we allowed the school to handle it. In essence ignoring bullying/harassment doesn't mean it's always going to go away, especially when the person holds a grudge.

Garnet · June 2010

Avla wrote:

Sometimes confronting the person is a solution.

I have to agree with this part.. My ex best friend wont leave my boyfriend alone and started rumors about me and i got to where i ignored it and wou just shrug my shoulders and walk off when she said something to me.. Then she started texting my boyfriend after school let out fo summer and he told me i could text her. so i still remembered her number and while i was on the phone with my boyfriend last night i texted her and my exact text was: "Look, I'm not going to be mean or even have an attitude. Just please leave Joey alone. He deleted your number and doesnt wanna talk to you anymore. Please stop texting him." and she startd cursing at me and i just deleted the messages nd didnt reply after that and eventually she stopped texting.

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