What is a Real Friends? Im stressing out :(

kitty_kat · April 2010

Latly Ive been asking myself What is a Real friend? Becuase it seems that all my friends leave me. My friend LH's ( I will Call her LH) made her go to private school so i saw her on weekends then she up and moves to hawaii with her familly. She had been my best friend from 2nd-7th grade we were like sisters. After she moved to hawaii i went and saw her a year later it was pretty awsome and it seemed liek nothing had changed between us. But after I went home we lost tough and I havnt seen her since its been about 2 or 3 years since ive seen or really talk to her. we exchange e-mails every once and a wile. Then there was MM once again she was like my sister lmao except we were unseperatable for the 2 years we were BEST Friends. Then she ends up moveing and we stoped talking and she started to get into bad things. And then there was TB she was also like a sister to me from like 2nd- 10th grade but then we got in a big fight and i didnt talk to her for about 6 months. Well we have recently started to be friends again and things are going great but unfortantly we dont hang out as much any more. Last but not least there is SL we became friends threw 4-H Ive known her for the past two years and the first year we were amazing friends, we were very close, had alot of things in common. But then something changed and now i dont like who she has become. She flirts with thousands of guys it seems, doesnt care about anything, is verys tuck up and selfish. I just dont want to be around her any more. I just dont understand What a real friend is? It seems like my close friends have left me ( yes they didnt have a choice but they also didnt keep in touch) or totaly changed in a bad way. NONE of them were there for me when my mom passed away dureing the summer (yes there were there at teh funeral and afterwords but they were never emotionaly there). It honestly just feels like I have no One. The only person that has been there for me since my mom died is my horse Trainer who has helped me out alot and has been there. Latly ive been so stressed out and just need to get away and have fun but its hard when TB is never available and I have no desire to be with SL any more ebcuase she just drives me crazy any time im with her and usualy ends up makeing me mad. We are just drifting apart and I dont see us being friends after she graduates from 4-H in 4 months. With loseing my mom, loseing my first horse, loseing my cat ( wich was my baby boy), the stress of paying for my 2 (soon to be 3 horses) by myself and paying for anything i want or anything i want to do. My grandparents help me out very little with money becuase they want to teach me responsibility but its hard to teach some one responsibility when they are all ready responsible, i dont get anything handed to me i work my butt off. Im stressing out over getting good grades. And there is just so much more. Im so stressed i never get a moment to relax. Becuase im so stressed its hard for me to find happiness. The only thing that makes me happy is the thought that tommorow (sunday) I will be getting my dream horse. Other then that i go day by day being unhappy and sad. I just dont know what to do, I feel alone like no one is there. When i lost my mom i felt liek i lost everything, she was my best friend, she always believed in me and helped me reach my goals and dreams no matter what. Now I have no one there to support me in those goals and dreams besides my trainer who has become a very good friend to me, but none of my friends who are my age support me, none of my family supports me they just go along with it. Anyways Im sorry I have pratically written a book here and i dont really expect any one here to read it. But if you happen to make it this far and have any ideas on relaxation tips or what ever feel free to tell me. But it was good for me to just get all that bottled stuff out, well atleast kinda. Thanks, KitKat

Faeriegirl83 · April 2010

Oh my god, for once, I have no words that could help you. You seem like an incredible person to stay standing after all you've been through. I'm not sure if I could have done that. It's not so much the problem of you not having a real friend (except for maybe the last case), but you've been seperated from them by too much of a distance. That kind of thing can't be helped. I feel extraordinarily bad for you, but have no idea how to help. You honestly are having a tough life right now and none of it is your fault. Just stay strong. You can PM me if you would like.

kitty_kat · April 2010

Thanks Tina, I am amazed you read my Whole post, it some what makes me feel better that some one is willing to listen to what I have to say even though its long enough to be published in a book. Ive been threw some hard stuff and i lost my younger brother about 6 years ago, my dad has pretty much been out of the picture for 12 years, he left when I was 5. But even though all this stuff has happened, I guess I am happy to have my family even though there part of the reason im stressed. I do have things to be happy and thankfull for but sometimes its just so hard to see the good threw all the bad. I also worry about my brother and sister I try to support them with tehre goals and stuff. I go to all of my brothers baseball games that i can go to even though there boreing I know he needs the support from me. And my sister well thats a different story i try to support her but she ends up on my nurves most of the time. I feel Like I have to be the strong for every one else in my familybecuase im the oldest and becuase i know im capable of being the strongest. But it still seems like i have lost touch with my brother and sister, and just the other day my brother was upset becuase apparently i never do anything with him. So Ive desided I was going to plan something to do with my younger siblings i just dont know what though and suggestions?

Cybergirl · April 2010

Try taking them to the park or just hanging out with them, playing games, make dinner, ect. Maybe take them to a movie or something if you have the money. If its possible for you, make new friends. Im sure you see people everyday that you could be friends with if you just walked over and said hello. Once you get some more new friends you could have a whole support system going, and that seems like it would really help you.

Garnet · April 2010

Ive never been in your situation, but ive lost a few freinds over the years. They get mixed up in the wrong crowd and its like i dont know who they are anymore. Just always know that your mother is there in your heart. She still watches over you and I'm sure shes very proud of how mature your being and how your taking care of your brother and sister. try taking them to a lake to swim or like Syb said, maybe the movies? my nephew enjoys when i take him to see a movie hes been wanting to see. or just find a movie to watch at the house and let them help you make snacks

that seems like it'd be fun. You are a good person, and very strong to be taking on all of those responsibilities. I'd love to hang out with you if i knew you in person. but alas, i do not lol (wow i sounded like such a dork just then 0.0) anyways, when im stressed ill listen to my favorite music, but what really helps me is going out to the pasture and being with the horses. sometimes just getting on my horse and riding helps me forget everything and just relax and be free for an hour or two. everyone is different though, just try something that you really love to do

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What is a Real Friends? Im stressing out :(

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