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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

edited April 2010 in Vent
You know how it feels when your life has been just one bad thing after another? And then when it finally settles down and you can breathe again the worst happens. My life has has been turned upside down countless times in the past year. Two of my dreams that I've held onto for years were shattered. Someone I thought was my best friend turned out to be a viper. What I thought was true turned out to be a big fat lie. I finally got everything to calm down and things have been really nice and peaceful the last few weeks are now ruined again. My migraines are getting bad again to the point I've blacked out a couple times and almost blacked out a few. Probably going to have to get another MRI to make sure the two cysts in my head haven't gotten bigger or moved. I just want things to stop always getting worse. I need normal right now and it's no where in sight. The people closest to me think i'm doing a bad job with my desired career choice and small every day choices. I'm me not you. I know what I want and I will go for it. I've had to learn how to hide my true feelings and pretend like everythings ok while I feel like I'm dying on the inside. And the funny thing is. I'm one of those people who my friends say has everything easy. Ya right. <br>I'm just tired of always having to guard against getting hurt or keeping it all together. I give up so much for the ones I love yet half the time they don't even notice. I want to be able to lean on someone else for once. Not have to be tough or know all the answers. Is that too much to ask really? I try to never lean on others if it's not needed so when I say something Im really hurting. <br><br>I want to live my life the way I feel I need to. I'm not your average girl nor do I want to be. I just want respect and love like anyone else. Don't bash me for my beliefs or family. Trust is needed in life. Without trust you have nothing. <br><br>*cookies to all who read*. I've had more then my share of crap and I'm starting to fall.
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Comments

  • Aww, I'm sorry Triss. If there's ever anything I can do to help, feel free to let me know.
  • I know exactly how you feel. About 3 years ago started a mess of constant ups and downs for a long time. It's so hard to take a step forward, and get knocked back 2. Things got better for me, and I'm happier than I've been in a long time, but it took awhile. I hope things get better for you too! Be strong!
    I'm done with VP. I'll just be around until I get all my dogs and lines placed in good hands. If you want to contact me, please do so through deviantART.
  • Things will get better. I promise.
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  • *huggles* I really hope the stuff in your head is okay. Blacking out . . . that seems scary. I've never done it before. It just sounds bad. :(
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  • snowjo wrote:
    Aww, I'm sorry Triss. If there's ever anything I can do to help, feel free to let me know.
    <br><br>Thank you I will def take you up on that sometime. And same goes for you :D <br><br>
    I know exactly how you feel. About 3 years ago started a mess of constant ups and downs for a long time. It's so hard to take a step forward, and get knocked back 2. Things got better for me, and I'm happier than I've been in a long time, but it took awhile. I hope things get better for you too! Be strong!
    <br><br>Exactly, it is really hard. I've learned you have to be fighter to get what you want or need. I used to try to be "nice" but got tired of being walked over. I've always said what you see is what you get with me. The only thing I hide at times are my real feelings if I need to. Things will get better its just waiting for that time to get here. I'm hoping its soon. You always have really good advice. I did have a awesome day Monday. I was with my boyfriend and his mom. We went to a mall and watch How to Train Your Dragon on the imax screen in 3-d. Was totally awesome. :) I needed that day. Just some time to laugh and relax with Ry. Gave me that relief I needed.<br><br>
    Sybhat3 wrote:
    Things will get better. I promise.
    <br><br>Before every mountaintop theres a valley. <br><br>
    Tina Wolf wrote:
    *huggles* I really hope the stuff in your head is okay. Blacking out . . . that seems scary. I've never done it before. It just sounds bad. :(
    <br><br>*hugglesback* Blacking out isn't really scary. Sad to say that its happened enough that I'm used to it. I can usually tell when its about to happen cause my vision kinda goes fuzzy in a way and my knees will give out. If I notice it right away I can lay down or sit down and just wait till it passes. I've not realized what was happening before and landed on the floor and came to a few minutes later. I am hoping I don't have to get that MRI but if this doesn't pass again I will have to. I've had 2 years without any really bad migraines or anything but they are back for a little while. I'm guessing either all the stress I've had going on lately or the cysts are causing it. Thanks Tina :P
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