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BAHH!

SunnyDaysDontLieSunnyDaysDontLie
edited February 2010 in Vent
If my goddamned mind cannot shut the hell up, I swear on my life I will throw it out the window. I hate this. I hate everything. I hate ruined plans, I hate stupid people, I hate my father, I hate how my mind causes me to second guess everything I'm doing, I hate this constant anxiety, I hate it I hate it I hate it. GO AWAY DAMN IT! GO AWAY! I want to punch a wall right now. I'm so pissed off. And, its all at myself. And my family. And peoples parents, and and and and and and and ARGHTGKAHGDkDGKHOSHGADG! I haven't spoken a word to ANYONE in the past... three hours. I got hit with a massive panic attack in the middle of my third block. As in, I was shaking, I was claustrophobic, I was hyperventilating, I thought I was going to pass out/throw up, I almost did throw up, and because of this panic attack, I missed the first half hour of my fourth block because I went to my old Foundation of Algebra teacher's classroom because he has planning, and I just sat there and bawled my eyes out and told him everything that was wrong for the past friggin month. How my mind wont ever shut up, how coach yelled at me because I wasn't swimming my normal pace, and she asked why, and I was like "I'm thinking, coach". And she was like, "-insert last name here-, TURN YOUR BRAIN OFF!"<br>I can't do that D< I'm analytical. How the hell am I supposed to do that?!<br>And I'm sick of it. I'm sick of this. I need something to help me get rid of this constant anxiety I'm feeling.<br>GAH.<br><br>Cookies to those who read and actually give a damn.
"I am carrying all my hatred and contempt for power, its laws, its authority, its society, and I have no room for guilt or fear of punishment."-Diego Rios
Semper Fi.

Comments

  • SarahJohnsonSarahJohnson
    68.235.228.151
    I'm sorry, Sunny. I hope everything goes better for you. When you think about it, though, after a point, it only gets better. Trust me, I've been there.
  • RoyalRaccoonRoyalRaccoon
    75.84.62.221
    I've actually spent the passed few years with social anxiety disorder, and at one point it was bad enough that I was told I had agoraphobia. My mind would run a million "What ifs" a second, and not only did it make it hard for me, I drove everyone around me crazy. I still can't fully trust people, and I have a lot of difficulty going places without having panic attacks just like you have, but I've gotten a LOT better by going to one-on-one therapy. You sound like you are in a really bad spot, so my recommendation is to have your parents call your insurance company in order to find a local therapist that is covered. The least a therapist can do for you is be a friend that you can trust won't spread things, and they can make sure the school helps you if it you get too overwhelmed.<br><br>Good luck.
    I'm done with VP. I'll just be around until I get all my dogs and lines placed in good hands. If you want to contact me, please do so through deviantART.
  • SunnyDaysDontLieSunnyDaysDontLie
    96.10.185.201
    Thanks, Snowjo /=
    "I am carrying all my hatred and contempt for power, its laws, its authority, its society, and I have no room for guilt or fear of punishment."-Diego Rios
    Semper Fi.
  • Mia:]Mia:]
    71.245.13.94
    <span style="font-size:75">Aw. :!<br>Buns; if you ever need to spill out anything, messsage me.<br>I'll be here for youu.<3</span>
    142hdhl.png
  • SunnyDaysDontLieSunnyDaysDontLie
    96.10.185.201
    "Mia: wrote:
    "]<span style="font-size:75">Aw. :!<br>Buns; if you ever need to spill out anything, messsage me.<br>I'll be here for youu.<3</span>
    <br><br>Thanks, Mia<3 <br><br>I've just been trying to figure out whats wrong right now myself.
    "I am carrying all my hatred and contempt for power, its laws, its authority, its society, and I have no room for guilt or fear of punishment."-Diego Rios
    Semper Fi.
  • SunnyDaysDontLieSunnyDaysDontLie
    96.10.185.201
    And the stupid kid across the street keeps distressing me ;-;
    "I am carrying all my hatred and contempt for power, its laws, its authority, its society, and I have no room for guilt or fear of punishment."-Diego Rios
    Semper Fi.
  • ShesTheManROXShesTheManROX
    144.136.145.251
    At least we are the lucky people you do want to tak to in your non talking to people stage :D
  • SunnyDaysDontLieSunnyDaysDontLie
    96.10.185.201
    eksimahd_01 wrote:
    At least we are the lucky people you do want to tak to in your non talking to people stage :D
    <br><br>Ahaha, good point Eski.
    "I am carrying all my hatred and contempt for power, its laws, its authority, its society, and I have no room for guilt or fear of punishment."-Diego Rios
    Semper Fi.
  • Faeriegirl83Faeriegirl83
    76.199.87.218
    *huggles* I'll take your brain for you! A couple of extra brain cells would do me good.
    silverr.jpg
  • SunnyDaysDontLieSunnyDaysDontLie
    96.10.185.201
    Tina Wolf wrote:
    *huggles* I'll take your brain for you! A couple of extra brain cells would do me good.
    <br><br>You don't want my brain cells, though D:
    "I am carrying all my hatred and contempt for power, its laws, its authority, its society, and I have no room for guilt or fear of punishment."-Diego Rios
    Semper Fi.
  • Faeriegirl83Faeriegirl83
    76.201.20.250
    SunnyDaysDontLie wrote:
    Tina Wolf wrote:
    *huggles* I'll take your brain for you! A couple of extra brain cells would do me good.
    <br><br>You don't want my brain cells, though D:
    <br><br>'Tis pity. :x
    silverr.jpg
  • SunnyDaysDontLieSunnyDaysDontLie
    96.10.185.201
    Tina Wolf wrote:
    SunnyDaysDontLie wrote:
    Tina Wolf wrote:
    *huggles* I'll take your brain for you! A couple of extra brain cells would do me good.
    <br><br>You don't want my brain cells, though D:
    <br><br>'Tis pity. :x
    <br><br>I know D<
    "I am carrying all my hatred and contempt for power, its laws, its authority, its society, and I have no room for guilt or fear of punishment."-Diego Rios
    Semper Fi.
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