Grrrrrr even music won't fix it

5 mandatory anger management classes and 4 years later i thought i had found a way to cope with rage nope<br><br><br>1 so friday the 13th i go to court for a really bad car wreck to see if i get to keep driving it was early in the morning and on my boyfriend and mines 5month and i had to come home a 4 hour drive to go which was nerve wracking. that same day i go to the girly doctor oh it was plesant. and after 2 years and a phone on the fritz later i was supposed to be able to trade in my current phone the 2nd LG chocolate and get somethign else worth 100$ well i found a phone i wanted and found out guess what no upgrading because my stepmom got a 300$ touch phone and used it all our credit up. so i put in head phone smile say its all good leave with my step mom her new phone and brand new BMW did i mention i have 2 jobs and go to college and she is a stay at home mom for me who isn't there and my 15 year old sister. i ma also told that i am not allowed to withdraw money form my own bank account to get a new phone *the one i wanted was 50$<br><br>2 so i get to drive still YAY!! now car shopping i found a used car that was safe for 3k the insurence company gave me 7k for my car which was origionally 10k and i payed about 3k on it and the rest was a birthday present when i turned 18 the rents have plans to buy my sister a brand new car for 25k when she turns 16 but i was happy as long as it looked DECENT and got me form point A to point B my father says "i don't like that type of car it takes up too much gas and the money the insurence company gave us for that car is mine because the car was in my name" i make the argument that i helped pay for it and it was a gift and the car i want would leave 4k left over and he can have 2k of it and i will use the other 2k for gas or he can have all of it if he lets me get into my bank account. Nope not happenning he then goes on to say that i totaled the last one so i may not be driving till im 20? i used to basically live on my own because he was out with his GF and mom had stuff to deal with so i am used to being independant and it all got taken away when he decided he needed to move my sister and i 6 hours away<br><br>3 my EX GF contacted me while i was in town and said how she didn't want to be my fiend anymore because i didn't care about my horse even though i pay for him his vet bill and am there every waking moment i have to spare. come to find out she said this soley to hurt me and the real reason is her new thing doesn't like me because "she thinks i still have feelings for my EX" which if i could explain that the alligation is laughable.<br><br>4 on the drive home my dad decides to insult me, first im irrisponsible because i wrecked a car. next my hair looks bad because i let my mom dye is a honey color, and i look "like a clown" or like i belong on the street. next his favorite topic my weight, i admit im a little on the heavy side but keep in mind i teach swim lessons tesch horse back ridding i train horses and i go to the gym 2-4 times a week and do 1-3 miles on the eliptical. not to mention i trapse all over campus another 5-10 miles of walking a day "ive clocked it" next how my boyfriend is a bum because he is a laborer, he works his but off and treats me so well who cares what he does or what he makes! he has 3 jobs 2 mangement one and a labor one which he went to trade school for. next he wanted to talk about my grade and how a C wasn't good enough. then he went on into how i treat him like a taxi and an ATM machine and not like a father. im used to taking care of my self and him not being around!! he is a taxi because he won't let me drive and i would really love to know when he puts money in my hand because last i checked i did it my own and he payed for college which he uses as an excuse to controll everythign in my life. aside form college i pay for everything. i tell him how happy i ma that he is giving me the oppertunity to go everytime i see him. also i invited him to a movie which he went and saw without me, and i told him i was coming home from my mother at 4 so we could have a family dinner i offered to cook and clean and then watch a movie he could pick he said well you can cook for yourself your step mom and i are going out to a friends party be back at midnight, when did he want me to hang out with him i spent two nights there and 2 dinners and 1 full day i was home for three days and i offered to be there 2.5/3. next he insisted i was a liar and he didn't know how my mind work so i snapped and sarcastically said wow dad you sure know how to make someone feel great about themselves to which he responds oh grow up you know your pathetic what are you going to do whine and play the victum now thats really weak<br><br><br>5 while in the hospital after my wreck my father decides i don't need an MRI im fine, the doctor literally had to argue with him that my life was somethign he didn't want to take chances with. my dad makes 400k a year not like he can't afford to make sure his health insured daughter is ok. he also didn't call my mom or siter and i was on my way to visit them and never showed and he tried to chase of my BF who was behind me when i flipped and launched my car rode with me to the hospital and didn't leave my side even though he had to work<br><br><br>6 just as a side note because i can't get this out of my head when i was between 3-4 my mom was trying to teach me the alphabet and i asked her what letters were in my name which is 8 letters long. so my mom shortens it to my nick name which is three letters and tells me them i write them down without looking and show it to her, she is so proud i go down stairs to show my dad thinking how proud he will be and he says "thats nice come back when you write your actuall name" keep in mind my age and it's my first time im not even in preschool yet. thats my first memory of him<br><br><br>7 the issue of the death penalty is coming up in my state and lets just say i have had my life touched by murderers twice and so the entire week people have been wearing shirts making signs and asking me to sign patitions saying i will vote to stop the death penalty. one of the largest is hung right outside my door i see it multiple times a day.<br><br>8 our bathroom is disgusting the rules is you clean your hair out of the shower and make sure their are no bodily fluids anywhere. i clean up after other people within reason and i seem to be the only one as it just keeps getting worse<br><br>9 my roommate wants to move back in. she stays up till 4 am regaurdless of when i need to sleep. she leave the florecents on and the blinds open and her desk lamp on at all times. she ate about half of my food weekly which i pay for. she broke my PS2 one of the only things i managed to not have stolen from me growing up and my can opener. on top of that she owes me about 150$ for groceries that i was nice enough to lend out and she never does the dishes or takes out the trash further more her stuff litterally ends up under my bed which is all the way across the room just because she spreads out so far. the one condition i had when we made a room mate agreement was that she turn off her alarm clock withing 30 seconds of it going off or she have music instead of beeping neither of which happens. also she goes home all the time on the weekends and my dorm is the only one on campus where my BF can't visit he live 4 hours away and hotel rooms are 50-60 dollars a night and so i suggest we move to another dorm together and she cries about it to our neighbors trying to make it look like i am fourcing her, it was a suggestion!!<br><br>10 on another game where you trade pets a player offered me pets i didn't have and she wanted pets out of my trade group and one form my not trade group. the rareity values evened out and it was fair but i didn't want to let og of that pet so i switched it for one of the same value. she edited the trade again and took of 2 of the dogs i wanted and added 3 dogs not in my trade group and then begged and hounded me and told me what a great offer she was making for my favorite one in my no trade section, i edited it and added some of her pets added pets of mine to make the value fair and then offered her an addtional 100+ pets just to be nice and help her fill up her trade section. she responds with calling me stupid cursing and saying how unfair and rude i was for doing that and then once again trys to get my fave pet<br><br>11 so i am allowed to drive i can afford a car and gas and my father may not let me get one. on top of that he is saying i might not beable to come home for thanksgiving because he doesn't feel like coming to get me and since my mom literally can't afford it i will have to take money out of my account so someone will come get me. last time i went back to school my dad wanted to hunt so he asked my BF who said he would but he didn't have gas money, but he was willing to do my father a very large favor my dad made him barrow money from me which i don't care AND he is making him pay it back and he has to have proof that i got payment which i don't care if i ever see it, it was 80$ and it was mine and he did me a favor<br><br>12 my dad screamed at me called me stupid and irrisponsible and a dissapointment for about an hour because i withdrew 600$ in 3 months for food books and other things keep inmind i withdrew about 200 and lent it to my roommate<br><br><br>ok i am done phew i feel better