I'm just tired of hurt

I'm tired of the pain and hurt I feel when you can't come. I'm tired of him coming, but not you. I've wanted and needed you but had to be silent cause there was nothing you could do at that moment. I hate feeling like you don't trust me. I wish what happened had never happened. That we could go back to what we used to be. But that can't happen. We can only try to pick up the pieces and move on. I do love you but right now it hurts too much. It hurts to trust you cause I'm so scared this will happen again. You once held my heart in your hands. I want you to hold it again but I need time before I can trust you again. You say you've changed and won't do it again. Baby I want to believe you with everything in me. I'm scared and don't know what to do. I need you now, to wait and please be patient as I find my way back. Let me have my space but still let me know how much you care.