Manipulative Blue Ink (StoryOfASort XD)

I hold this paper close to me, my chest, my heart, and my mind. I look like a fool for holding this paper so close, so close like I would die without it. But little do other people know, or you, how much it means to me. <br><br> I clutch this paper close to me, but not too hard so I don’t rip it, I would never want to rip it (…ever), because it means a lot to me.<br><br> This paper holds your handwriting, so velvety, playful and neat. It holds my handwriting too but it cannot compare to yours. These words revive my mind back from its deadly state. Your old words remind my soul that I was once happy. I was once living so happily in this life. <br><br> This little feeble piece of regular lined paper occupies our old selves, and old childish love. I slowly release it from my tight embrace. It feels soft like peach fuzz under my shaky fingers. Was it always this soft or am I exaggerating things in my state of melancholy? I didn’t care. This paper was so white that it illuminated in my hands like a present sent from God. My fingers continued to stroke this single page, mesmerizing each stroke of the pen you used. Its blue ink smeared at some spots from your hand when you wrote it, or from my tears. How were you? You never talk to me anymore.<br><br> How weak I look, how the sorrow consumed my life and happiness spilled from my heart. And this, this small piece of paper is what kept me happy and smiling? What was special about this paper, besides your writing and words on here?<br><br> Absolutely nothing, so in other words you mean a lot to me still. Even after all these days, months and years. <br><br>I read your words over and over, smiling. I remember the smile you wore while passing this note to me in class, bitterly chuckling. I could still smell our happiness, but all I could taste is my yearning to be beside you again, and have it last forever. This powerful ache that came to my chest each time I read this, how I wanted to wash it away. This craving to be with you, be happy with you, and just smile with you was consuming! It blinded me from all my senses! And this was all because of you…and you were long gone, forever. <br><br> I felt my eyes brim with tears. You were never going to come back. You were never going to hug me again. You were never going to be there for me. You were never going to love me again. These things that ran through my head every day is what keeps me grasping this paper for dear life. It is the last words I will be able to see, read, and hear from you again. <br><br> My fingers are starting to tingle at the sensation of the old ink. I lick my lips, trying to refresh my mind about that unique day. How I taken you for granted back then, unaware of my inevitable fate like a bee stuck in a window. <br><br> I wish you were here, to tell me you loved me, because this letter has lost its touch. It doesn’t sing for me anymore like it use to. It doesn’t keep me happy anymore. I try to relive the day, the day you gave this to me. A simple note passed in class secretly from the teacher. I kept it unconsciously in my backpack. <br><br> But three things on the letter never got old. Your handwriting played with these words, manipulated them to your liking with your beautiful curly letters. They entranced me into believing that this thing between us, a relationship or not, was forever and ever. <br><br><span style="font-style:italic">I love you. </span><br><br>These three words sing! They sing what an orchestra cannot portray! They tell me things that I couldn’t learn on my own! These three words show me stuff my eyes cannot see! Yet, you, your body and soul, has showed me misery and imprisonment of my own self. <br><br> I throw the paper from my hands. The words burn my eyes, my mind, my soul and my life. These words no longer sing a sweet tune that manifested butterflies made of flames…<br><br> They now sang a very bitter, <span style="font-weight:bold">VERY</span> bitter tune that displayed agony. <br><br>---<br><br>I lost my muse for my other stories I have going on right now so I decided to try and get it back by posting a drabble of a sort on VP! xD <br><br> Comments and crit. are always loved. <br><br>-Shay