What kind of -Mother- are you?

BuffyBoarding · June 2009

Buffy's first -real- vent. This is gonna take awhile. I don't want sympathy, i just need to get some things out and this is the best place for me to be able to do it. So, my ex and i broke up -counts- 7 months ago. I'll admit that i loved him, and i guess i still kinda do. Things like that don't just up and disappear. Well he's a complete jerk, i realize this now. He's got like three other girlfriends right now and im just so sick of him. But that is the least of my worries right now. Another small worry, i sold my horse today and made a little money on it, but now i -want- a new horse, but i have to find a land lease for it, because i can't possibly ask my uncle to keep another horse on his land when i just had to sell the one that i bought from him. -headdesk- Biggest problem. I have a new boyfriend that we just -officially- started dating a month ago. We talked for quite awhile and he was telling me that he didn't really have time for an actual girlfriend because he works all the time. Well finally i convinced him that we'd make time for eachother, and we started dating. Everything with him so far has been amazing. We never fight, we understand eachother and agree on everything. There's never a dull moment between us. He loves my family and I love his little brother, but the problem is -His mother- I went into the relationship with a clear head. Never met her before and figure i would like her... Wrong. This -mother- of his... Okay, first encounter. She had his Alone moving Two 25x25x12 foot storage buildings. It took 25 Truck AND Trailer LOADS, to move all this stuff AFTER he and his friend had made 9 trips before i went to help. We get home with all of the stuff, and the -mother- refuses to help unload anything, just stands there and bosses us around. That's fine, i can deal with that. Next, i find out that the -mother- does not work, my boyfriend pays ALL of the bills. AND the -mother- goes out with her friends almost EVERY night and will not allow him to go ANYWHERE. She makes him drive Without a license because she doesnt want him to have his license. She expects him to babysit every night of the week and allows him to go nowhere. He pays both her and his phone bills, but she takes his phone away at 9:30 EVERY night. **Including Weekends** He's the one paying the freaking bill woman!!! Every time he asks to do anything the answer is the same -Watch Chan while i go out and Maybe you can do something- My mother called her a week in advance to see if he could spend his off day at the lake with us, she says yes. promises he can for my birthday... Before he went to summer school the morning before we were going to leave, she told, Not asked, told him to change everyone's pillowcases. He did as she asked, and was almost late for school. He got a call while he was at school that he was grounded. When he asked why, she replied. "You left two CLEAN pillowcases on my bed, forget going with your girlfriend tomorrow *smiley face*" I have half a mind to beat this woman's head in with a baseball bat after this. Then today she has the audacity to tell my mother that "He is allowed to come and go as he pleases as long as his chores are done" Yeah every time he wants to go, there are Magically more chores left "undone" Imagine that. What kind of -mother- do you call that? My boyfriend has raised his 7 year old brother, paying all the bills, taking him everywhere all of his life. This woman is not a mother at all. She's just riding her high school son like a gravy train. -vent over- -buffy

lablover1993 · June 2009

wow that sounds like one woman i would not like i hate people like that i hope things get better =D

BuffyBoarding · June 2009

Oh i usually don't hate people. but this woman =/ There have been three things she did right her entire life as far as im concerned. -she had my amazing boyfriend. -had another sweet little boy. -had her tubes tied after 4 kids. That's it. :roll:

DiamondPuppy0809 · June 2009

Poor Buffy. D= I'd be so angry. >:[ Grr. I've probably have popper her one already. But, maybe not, because she might get some restraining order so you can't go near her family. That would be bad. I suggest making a voodoo doll :twisted: Then poke it with needles and stuff. xDD Just kidding. =P

DiamondPuppy0809 · June 2009

Garfieldz Gal wrote:

Poor Buffy. D= I'd be so angry. >:[ Grr. I'd probably have popped her one already. But, maybe not, because she might get some restraining order so you can't go near her family. That would be bad. I suggest making a voodoo doll :twisted: Then poke it with needles and stuff. xDD Just kidding. =P

DiamondPuppy0809 · June 2009

Dang, sorry, Buff. I was trying to edit my spelling errors and it would only let me quote. D= o.o;

BuffyBoarding · June 2009

I know that sometimes i say things that i shouldn't but what get's me is that she thinks she's something special. My mom calls her to ask about my boyfriend going with us and she takes hours to get off the phone. She talks like a kid. she's like "this guy loves me, this guy stalks me, this guy wants to be with me" Im like honestly? how old are you? I swear if i EVER see her raise a hand to my boyfriend, i will hit her. No holds barred. it's on.

lablover1993 · June 2009

go for it girl i would do teh same thing if i was in your shoes.

BuffyBoarding · June 2009

See she would hit me back.. and my mom would kill her =//

lablover1993 · June 2009

well hey thats a win win situation

BuffyBoarding · June 2009

Until my mom winds up losing her job and we're all in jail =D Then i never see my boyfriend.

lablover1993 · June 2009

oh yea guesss that right never thought that far =S well i hope things get less -ug!- for ya

tarnish · June 2009

Wow..that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Has he talked to anyone about it? I would suggest that he just leave but I don't think he would want to leave his little brother with that..that..hell that -it-. There has to be something that he can do.

BuffyBoarding · June 2009

I swear the next time she won't let him go with me, im going to straight up say. "I have never done or said anything disrespectful to you. Why is it you do not let me spend time with him? is it me? my family? or just the fact that you must control everything?"

BuffyBoarding · June 2009

tarnish wrote:

Wow..that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Has he talked to anyone about it? I would suggest that he just leave but I don't think he would want to leave his little brother with that..that..hell that -it-. There has to be something that he can do.

That's the only reason that he refuses to leave. Pretty much she tells him "If you leave, what do you think im going to treat Chan like?" I can't believe her. She's not a mother at all.

CallyKats Dachshunds · June 2009

-sigh-i would end up putting her in the hospital and saying she hit me first. but make sure there are no witnesses that wouldn't support you-then that ruins the plan. >.> other than the paying and doing everything that's what happened (kinda) to me and mi ex (whom i still love, but he is a complete thing so i've put him out of mi life). his mum hated me for some reason (or atleast this is mi theory) and used the excuse that he would go to jail if he even hugged me. really? i see part of what you feel buffers. -hugs- but now the guy i like is 3 states away from me so i wont meet his mother/family for a long while.

BuffyBoarding · June 2009

What makes me the maddest, is this is the sweetest guy you will ever meet. I mean i am -Not- easy to get along with. Im spoiled, i have to have everything my own way or i throw hissy fits. Im a brat and i have no problem admitting that. So usually i fight with everyone... My ex and i... we talked about breaking up every day because we were too much alike. i spend like 9 months dealing with that lol. But anyway, this guy, i say anything and he goes to argue and im like just give up i win. and he goes "Okay baby, you win i love you" im like yeah he's not a fighter and he wont fight against her... ugh it's disgusting.

Troglin · June 2009

Buffy, if your BF is 17 or once graduates high school, I believe he's considered a legal adult. That's why I wanted to move there when I turned 17. (Eh.) If he's 18, he can go to CPS and try to get his brother removed from their mother. She's obviously not providing a good home for either of them, and CPS would likely agree that she's an unfit mother. After that, he can probably get parental rights over his brother, but he'd probably need to prove that he has a place to stay. I don't know the whole process though, but he could talk to them over the phone or in person and ask questions about it. Of course, if he's 16, then I don't think there's much he could do other than call CPS and complain. Though, if he's really determined, and can find a place to live - he can file with the court system to become emancipated. If he can prove that he would be better off by himself, and can support himself, and that his living situation currently isn't ideal, he would likely be granted emancipation. Therefore also being considered a legal adult, and maybe he could get his brother that way as well. Since you know what's going on there, you could also call CPS. I don't know if your BF would approve of it, but it sounds like him/his brother need a way out.

Troglin · June 2009

Anastasia wrote:

Buffy, if your BF is 17 or once graduates high school, I believe he's considered a legal adult. That's why I wanted to move there when I turned 17. (Eh.) If he's 18, he can go to CPS and try to get his brother removed from their mother. She's obviously not providing a good home for either of them, and CPS would likely agree that she's an unfit mother. After that, he can probably get parental rights over his brother, but he'd probably need to prove that he has a place to stay. I don't know the whole process though, but he could talk to them over the phone or in person and ask questions about it. Of course, if he's 16, then I don't think there's much he could do other than call CPS and complain. Though, if he's really determined, and can find a place to live - he can file with the court system to become emancipated. If he can prove that he would be better off by himself, and can support himself, and that his living situation currently isn't ideal, he would likely be granted emancipation. Therefore being considered a legal adult, and maybe he could get his brother that way as well. Since you know what's going on there, you could also call CPS. I don't know if your BF would approve of it, but it sounds like him/his brother need a way out.

Troglin · June 2009

Err. Sorry about that. >< I forgot that they removed the edit option.

BuffyBoarding · June 2009

My mom is an officer of the courts and we've discussed all this and here's the situation. He's only 16 and won't be 17 until March of next year. He just wants to deal with it because... 1. He's paying all the bills, so his brother has a place to stay. 2. He makes sure that this -mother- only physically abuses him, not the brother. 3. He doesn't want his mom to hate him. 4. CPS around here shoves all kids in homes that are not safe. He could live with his grandparents -if- the courts would emancipate him, But that leaves his brother alone with his mom. There's not really much any of us can do, because i will not watch the little boy be put into an abusive home. My boyfriend raises him, so at least he's -semi- safe.

SylverWyndIV · June 2009

Wow, Nobody deserves to have a mother like that, if you could even call that woman one, I don't see much of a maternal side to her, from what you've said.

lablover1993 · June 2009

buffy: earlier you said she had 4 children before she had her tubes tied, well dose she like act like a mother to the other 2 or are they already raised??

MondyFlax · June 2009

That is PATHETIC. God. I read that and I was like "Wtf?!" That's just.. messed up. Completely. I feel bad for him >.< If I ever had a mother like that I'd go. Away.

Forever. Geeze. I couldn't imagine having such a mother like that. I can't even call her a mother anymore after reading that. That's just sad. >.< Can't even pay her own bills so she makes her son? Pathetic. >.<

BuffyBoarding · June 2009

Britsy-- exactly my point there. Lablover-- the other two kids are grown and in college... my boyfriend doesn't really talk much about them... but when they were around, there was always an abusive boyfriend that beat on all of them... She didn't really -abuse- the kids per say, because she was always out with the boyfriend/husband. Mondy-- I don't call her a mother, because she isn't one... When i talk to my family about her... im like yeah i need to call that "woman my boyfriend lives with" she's not a mother and certainly not a mom. Egg doner is all i have to say.

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What kind of -Mother- are you?

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