Grrr....Should I laugh or cry??

Lyca · June 2009

Okay, so imagine there is person T. Person T is father to person W. Person W made plans to visit person V and M, there cousin and Uncle who person W sees at best once a year. Then person W finds out that person T wants to come for a visit. At first person T wanted to come the 12th but that wasn't good for person K, person W's mother and person W because of prior plans. Well, finally person finds out when person T wants t visit and its Father's Day weekend which makes perfect sense to person W. Person K made sure to repeatedly remind person T that it was the 19th he was coming after he, get this HE picked that day emailed to confirm 3 times and called to reinforce the date. Person W then review her schedule, finds out she made plans with person V and M that weekend. SO because person W cares a great deal for person T she quickly cancels her plans with person V and W. Now the day of person T's arrival is upon us. Person W single handedly makes the house spotless and prepares whole bunch of stuff for person T while person B, person W's brother, is constantly undoing what she's done. Person B has also been annoyingperson about when person T is supposed to have his plane land. Person W is taking on child care duties, cleaning up the house and recleaning it because of person B, all while waiting for person T to call. After person W makes everything spotless, cleans up and settles down person B and gets herself ready, when person K comes home. Person W helps person K make dinner. Then while person W is off dealing with a little kid fight, person K calls person T. Person K finds out person T ISN'T coming THIS weekend in which he said he WAS, he's coming NEXT weekend. Even after person W did her best cleaning up, canceled her PREVIOUS plans, and person T even made SURE that it was the 19th. Person T had the nerve to say "Well, I just sold the two biggest accounts of my company and I"m really busy so I must have wrote it down wrong, and you even said I couldn't come. Well, I guess I can call the airline and see if I can change it but it's gonna cost me lots of money I don't have." So, Person K accidentally burned the hamburgers we were going to have for dinner. Upon hearing the news person B freaks out, and wont leave person K's side (he was mumbling pitifully, snuggled up against person K, and wouldn't talk to us and then he said " S A D" W and K didn't understand so he practically screamed "S A D! S A D! I'm sad I'm sad!" then later person b says "If person L (person K's boyfriend who is super nice) was my Dad would I see him? Would he come and do stuff with me?) So tore up and hungry, W, K, and B pack up into the car and go to taco bell. Person T didn't even speak to person W or B and acted like it was no big deal that he missed it. About Person T and his previous transgressions 1)He has continually missed planned dates with person W and B 2) He always makes up lame excuses 3)Never calls person W or answers her 4)Missed person B's super important boy scout trip to where he didn't get to go even after person T promised to go and pay for it 5) Sometimes gives off the vibe that he wants nothing to do with person b/ appears fake in everything 6) Acts like what ever he does is okay/Doesn't even consider anyone else's feelings Now, person W has had it. Person W has been let down and hurt so many times over the past 7 years doesn't know what to do. Person W doesn't know anymore if she should trust person T and is wondering if she is a bad person. Person W is really starting to doubt the depth of person T's feelings. Person W feels like a plaything that can be picked up when T finds it convenient. Person W is most pissed that person T callously waltzes over her heart, ignores her for the most part and ESPECIALLY the fact that he's screwing up with person B when person B i only 7 and realizes he's one of the only kids who has no Father (especially for boyscouts). But another thing is that Person K has told Person T that he is pushing person W away and instead of taking the advice, jumped down person K's throat. Person W is seriously contemplating what Person K said - Way to go Person T, you have successfully alienated your teenage daughter. Person W gives up! - . -

Lyca · June 2009

Person K and T are separated. Person K has custody and T has visitation rights.

DiamondPuppy0809 · June 2009

Eh... uh... what? xDD I didn't understand any of that :S

dachshund girl · June 2009

Oh I'm sorry! That's Awful. If there is anyway I can help let me know

Minx · June 2009

=O Person T is a fake >.> he doesnt wanna have anything to do with the other persons.. so i think the other persons should get a father figure. Like maybe an old family friend or something?

Lyca · June 2009

Garfieldz Gal wrote:

Eh... uh... what? xDD I didn't understand any of that :S

Basically person T screwed W/B & k over. He made plans with them, W worked to make everything great and then he didnt come. T has done this before and W is having issues trusting him and is really wondering what to think

Lyca · June 2009

dachshund girl wrote:

Oh I'm sorry! That's Awful. If there is anyway I can help let me know

Thanks, and I will. Right now though, I don't know what to think though. :?

VampireVenom wrote:

=O Person T is a fake >.> he doesnt wanna have anything to do with the other persons.. so i think the other persons should get a father figure. Like maybe an old family friend or something?

That sounds about right, sadly. :roll: And that doesn't seem like a bad idea. Right now my Maternal Grandfather (I guess that's what you'd call him since he's my mom's mom's 2nd husband) is doing the super boy stuff with him. But I do feel he needs more. I think I've reached about my breaking point on this one. 7 years of crap is enough. I hate to sound so....... mean? (can't find right word) but I'm sick of the heartbreak and I'm starting to feel it's not worth the effort anymore.

Minx · June 2009

That sounds about right, sadly. And that doesn't seem like a bad idea. Right now my Maternal Grandfather (I guess that's what you'd call him since he's my mom's mom's 2nd husband) is doing the super boy stuff with him. But I do feel he needs more.

So he's your Moms stepdad? I mean like.. maybe your uncle or somethin? Someone you can go to and trust. But Your Grandpa is a good idea too.

Lyca · June 2009

VampireVenom wrote:

That sounds about right, sadly. And that doesn't seem like a bad idea. Right now my Maternal Grandfather (I guess that's what you'd call him since he's my mom's mom's 2nd husband) is doing the super boy stuff with him. But I do feel he needs more.

 So he's your Moms stepdad? I mean like.. maybe your uncle or somethin? Someone you can go to and trust. But Your Grandpa is a good idea too.

We don't really have anyone that close to us where we live except them. But I wish we did. I have an Aunt on my mom's side and she's married so there's Jim but they live in Delaware and we're in North Carolina so it's kinda hard. Plus, most of my mom's close friends around here are girls......what can I say?

^Oriyana^ · June 2009

What about person K's boyfriend, or is he not ready to take a fatherish role? I've found the desire to do fatherly things is MUCH more important than who donated what genes to make someone :P Not everyone who is a father deserves to be, or fulfills his role properly (some mother's fall into that category too so I'm not bashing dad's here :P). While it would be nice if everyone who created children did their best in raising and loving them, it's not always the case. It does sound like mom's bf might be a good fit for doing some of the traditional fatherly roles, even if he's not ready to be a dad yet :P He could just provide a positive male influence which is very important for person B, he doesn't need to be learning from T's examples.

Lyca · June 2009

Oriyana wrote:

What about person K's boyfriend, or is he not ready to take a fatherish role? I've found the desire to do fatherly things is MUCH more important than who donated what genes to make someone :P Not everyone who is a father deserves to be, or fulfills his role properly (some mother's fall into that category too so I'm not bashing dad's here :P). While it would be nice if everyone who created children did their best in raising and loving them, it's not always the case. It does sound like mom's bf might be a good fit for doing some of the traditional fatherly roles, even if he's not ready to be a dad yet :P He could just provide a positive male influence which is very important for person B, he doesn't need to be learning from T's examples.

Actually, he has 3 daughters already and every time he has come to visit us he has been absolutely wonderful. He's nice to us and treats us a whole heck of a lot better sometimes. And truthfully, he comes to visit us more than the man that gave us his genes. :P And that's so true. I appreciate what you said. Not everyone is prepared and it would be nice if they helped made the kid they were interested. And I think that learning form K's boyfriend would be much better since he is an all around nice guy. And he treats K sooo well. When I used to watch T and K when I was little T is no where near as good as L and L &K aren't even married. :P

^Oriyana^ · June 2009

Just remember that T's actions are NO reflection on you and B, there's nothing you did wrong, these are T's mistakes and he is the only one responsible for them. I may not be able to fully understand how it feels to have a parent act that way but I do know that if T cannot appreciate the gifts he has in children it's HIS loss not yours

Lyca · June 2009

Thanks, that makes a lot of sense actually. Your replies have helped me to clam down and I really appreciate it. Also, I think your right Oriyana, it's not our fault and if he wants to miss out on being in our lives then that's his problem not ours. (so to speak, I hate to sound rude it just comes off that way)

Howdy, Stranger!

Grrr....Should I laugh or cry??

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