Meet Molly [My Story Clipping]

DiamondPuppy0809 · December 2008

My Molly&Max Chapter 1 â€“ Getting to Know Molly I clicked the little play button on the video and it began playing. It was just like any other slideshow video with a â€œmeaningâ€

CORY · December 2008

POST MORE!!!!!

DiamondPuppy0809 · December 2008

I ISH TRYING! xD GIMME SOME TIME! I HAVE FOUR STORIES TO WORK ON -faints- XDD

CORY · December 2008

Garfieldz Gal wrote:

I ISH TRYING! xD GIMME SOME TIME! I HAVE FOUR STORIES TO WORK ON -faints- XDD

Otay I can wait.

lovefrompaige · December 2008

Ludie, you know I will always want to hear the rest of your stories soooo...... MORE! MORE!! :shock:

katie2794 · December 2008

I DEMAND more! lol jk but it was great! you should write tons of chapters then pubish it!

DiamondPuppy0809 · December 2008

I have worked on it and since made another chapter.

Unfortunately, the laptop I have it on's internet is down, so I cannot get it posted until my mommy checks that out ;] thanks for all the support guys. Katie, I intend to. xD

DiamondPuppy0809 · December 2008

EDITED. LOTS MORE ADDED!

CORY · December 2008

I am demanding even more Ludie! But I can wait. Its really good :]

DiamondPuppy0809 · December 2008

tiffer wrote:

I am demanding even more Ludie! But I can wait. Its really good :]

No critique?

I need to get better! xD Thanks, though, Shameh. I am writing more, commence to demand ;D

NickelbackLuver · December 2008

After the dogs had actually sniffed each other and the miracle was over, relief was only a shallow pool around meâ€”I still wasnâ€™t sure, and I wasnâ€™t going to drown myself in relief and trust for her whenâ€¦ it wouldnâ€™t be sensible to get my hopes up. Thats a really long sentence o.o the ...'s are misused here, because it makes it read less smoothly (woo, way for me to pick at one paragraph xD) And I think it could be broken into two sentences. Maybe where the â€” is at. Most of it was good, that was just the one paragraph that I really noticed

Maybe because it was at the end. It does seem a bit rushed. When you're outside with the dog what does it feel like out there? Smell, touch, taste, etc. things like that throughout the story. A lot of it is talking and actions, but no description in between. That's usually the one thing I notice too..because you want to make the reader feel like they are there. The emotions between you and your dog are great =D Along with the people. And you also do great descriptions of the dogs. I look forward to your next chapter

I hope that helps xD

DiamondPuppy0809 · December 2008

Nickelback__Luver wrote:

After the dogs had actually sniffed each other and the miracle was over, relief was only a shallow pool around meâ€”I still wasnâ€™t sure, and I wasnâ€™t going to drown myself in relief and trust for her whenâ€¦ it wouldnâ€™t be sensible to get my hopes up. Thats a really long sentence o.o the ...'s are misused here, because it makes it read less smoothly (woo, way for me to pick at one paragraph xD) And I think it could be broken into two sentences. Maybe where the â€” is at. Most of it was good, that was just the one paragraph that I really noticed Maybe because it was at the end. It does seem a bit rushed. When you're outside with the dog what does it feel like out there? Smell, touch, taste, etc. things like that throughout the story. A lot of it is talking and actions, but no description in between. That's usually the one thing I notice too..because you want to make the reader feel like they are there. The emotions between you and your dog are great =D Along with the people. And you also do great descriptions of the dogs. I look forward to your next chapter I hope that helps xD

Definitely, Pickel. Thank you ;] I normally do the basic part of the story, finish it, and go back and add all the description xD -- Time consuming, but then I don't miss anything I want to add. I will fix that sentence, it did seem odd to me, but I couldn't put my finger on it xD Sadly. My relationship with Molly is crazy. I love her but she drives me absolutely NUTS. D< xD

NickelbackLuver · December 2008

I do the same thing

Because Im rushing to get the story down because I get so excited to get all my ideas down, so I kinda leave everything out of it xD Which is why I usually write everything on paper first, so when i type it later I can add details and touch it up

Hah, I get those sentences all the time. And then sometimes I think it sounds odd -and- my microsoft word is telling me about it with the annoying green lines o.o so I will sit there for like 10 minutes trying to figure out whats wrong with it >.> Yeah, happens all the time

DiamondPuppy0809 · December 2008

Nickelback__Luver wrote:

I do the same thing Because Im rushing to get the story down because I get so excited to get all my ideas down, so I kinda leave everything out of it xD Which is why I usually write everything on paper first, so when i type it later I can add details and touch it up Hah, I get those sentences all the time. And then sometimes I think it sounds odd -and- my microsoft word is telling me about it with the annoying green lines o.o so I will sit there for like 10 minutes trying to figure out whats wrong with it >.> Yeah, happens all the time

Hand writing kills. I am afraid I will get 'carpotunnel' (lmao, I don't think that's how you spell it XD THAT'S HOW IT SOUNDS!) with how fast I write... and with all my ideas scrambling to get themselves on paper, my writing is killer messy and I can't read it when it's time to type... and that is why all written assignments for English are always straight to the computer and I don't touch a pen/pencil. xD

UnknownDreamland · December 2008

Carpal tunnel you mean? I really like it. I'm not a writer though, so I'd be of no help.

DiamondPuppy0809 · December 2008

Dreamland wrote:

Carpal tunnel you mean? I really like it. I'm not a writer though, so I'd be of no help.

to me, writing's like art, and you are an artist, so you could help if you really wanted to. xD But no problem. I see it as an art only because of the way I write... Basic, the actual idea in your head, is written (or drawn down), and then all the details are added afterward. Make sense? there's more to it, but I'm lazy xD *edit* And, yes, I meant Carpal tunnel XD

NickelbackLuver · December 2008

Garfieldz Gal wrote:

Nickelback__Luver wrote:

I do the same thing Because Im rushing to get the story down because I get so excited to get all my ideas down, so I kinda leave everything out of it xD Which is why I usually write everything on paper first, so when i type it later I can add details and touch it up Hah, I get those sentences all the time. And then sometimes I think it sounds odd -and- my microsoft word is telling me about it with the annoying green lines o.o so I will sit there for like 10 minutes trying to figure out whats wrong with it >.> Yeah, happens all the time

 Hand writing kills. I am afraid I will get 'carpotunnel' (lmao, I don't think that's how you spell it XD THAT'S HOW IT SOUNDS!) with how fast I write... and with all my ideas scrambling to get themselves on paper, my writing is killer messy and I can't read it when it's time to type... and that is why all written assignments for English are always straight to the computer and I don't touch a pen/pencil. xD

I write really fast too xD My hand will start to kill me after a while, but you'll get carpal tunnel from the keyboard before writing I think o.o Maybe I'm wrong xD But I do both things all the time, so I guess I'm doomed either way. My writing is messy too, but I can understand it usually

UnknownDreamland · December 2008

Garfieldz Gal wrote:

Dreamland wrote:

Carpal tunnel you mean? I really like it. I'm not a writer though, so I'd be of no help.

 to me, writing's like art, and you are an artist, so you could help if you really wanted to. xD But no problem. I see it as an art only because of the way I write... Basic, the actual idea in your head, is written (or drawn down), and then all the details are added afterward. Make sense? there's more to it, but I'm lazy xD *edit* And, yes, I meant Carpal tunnel XD

Uhmm.. I'll look at it later. Only real thing I can think of on the spot is that I have no mental picture of your surroundings. Well.. I have a vague one. >_> *awkward*

DiamondPuppy0809 · December 2008

Dreamland wrote:

Garfieldz Gal wrote:

Dreamland wrote:

Carpal tunnel you mean? I really like it. I'm not a writer though, so I'd be of no help.

 to me, writing's like art, and you are an artist, so you could help if you really wanted to. xD But no problem. I see it as an art only because of the way I write... Basic, the actual idea in your head, is written (or drawn down), and then all the details are added afterward. Make sense? there's more to it, but I'm lazy xD *edit* And, yes, I meant Carpal tunnel XD

 Uhmm.. I'll look at it later. Only real thing I can think of on the spot is that I have no mental picture of your surroundings. Well.. I have a vague one. >_> *awkward*

Lol, Dreamy, it's because before I go and add details, I get the basics down before they pass by xD My memory is terrible, I need to write whatever pops in as soon as it pops in or it's gone xD

UnknownDreamland · December 2008

Don't I know that feeling! XD

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Meet Molly [My Story Clipping]

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