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50 things...
50 Fun Things to do When Salespeople Call <br><br>1. Tell them they must have the wrong number, only God lives here. <br>2. When they call back, tell them this is the devil's residence. <br>3. Tell them s/he can't come to the phone right now as they are in deep meditation and may stay that way for days. <br>4. Start telling them about the wonderful encyclopedias you have in stock. <br>5. Start telling them your life story. <br>6. Tell them about your intense hatred for salespeople, then ask where they live. <br>7. Reply to all their questions in song. <br>8. Ask for someone who can translate Pig Latin, as you speak no other <br>language. <br>9. Hand the phone to the youngest member of the house - preferably under five. If no such person is available, give the phone to a pet. <br>10. As soon as they name the corporation they represent begin barking relentlessly. <br>11. Start trying to give them a psychological analysis. <br>12. Demand that they refer to you as Dr. Chopstick. <br>13. Proudly describe what you found in your ear this morning. <br>14. Ask them what color underwear they are wearing today. <br>15. Describe your socks in detail. <br>16. Interrupt them repeatedly to describe the beauty of your new toaster. <br>17. Whiningly tell them that it is past your bedtime. <br>18. Midway through the conversation say, "Oh no Phil! You've done it again! I told you that knife was too sharp! Where are we going to get the money for another funeral?" <br>19. Ask them repeatedly if they believe in antelopes. <br>20. Refuse to answer any of their questions, as they may be one of THEM! <br>21. Ask them what they think would happen if you put a frog in a blender later tell them they were wrong. <br>22. Ask them for their phone number so that you can call them back and chat some more. <br>23. Burst into tears when they try to hang up and scream, "Don't leave me!" <br>24. Tell them about the time you got stuck in the doggy door. <br>25. When they ask to speak to you spend a long time trying to decide if that really is your name and after you realize it is ask them to remind you of it occasionally. <br>26. Proudly explain that they are the first person that you have spoken to since you returned to Earth. <br>27. In the middle of the conversation start humming the Sesame Street theme song, when they try to speak sound surprised and say, "Is someone there?" <br>28. Begin snoring. <br>29. Gleefully explain that "they" have come for you and that you are going to a better place. <br>30. Start screaming whenever they say the word "that." <br>31. Say, "I am so glad you called, I have been waiting and waiting to hear from you!" <br>32. Answer every question with the phase, "I like eggs." <br>33. Say "Don't you hate it when you get your tongue stuck in a door?" <br>34. Tearfully explain "It's you, my long last sister/brother!" as soon as they identify themselves. <br>35. Complain to them about how outrageous it is that you have to take time out of your busy day to breathe. <br>36. Start reading them some of your poetry. <br>37. Occasionally start singing commercial jingles. <br>38. Suggest that the two of you get together sometime and go bowling. <br>39. Go into detail about the government's plot to overthrow the universe. <br>40. Ask them what they would do if there was a dead body on the floor of their living room. <br>41. Discuss what a wonderful world it would be if we were all born with tails. <br>42. Whenever they try to get a word in babble on about how young people these days talk way too much, and don't respect their elders. (Works best if they are clearly older than you.) <br>43. During complete silence ask them if they hear that pounding noise. <br>44. Make loud pounding noises and when they ask about them say "What pounding noises?" <br>45. Tell them to hold on a second, set down the phone and sing loudly. <br>46. Insist on calling them Mr. Spock. <br>47. Ask them if they will get you a birthday present. <br>48. Tell them you can't talk now, as you are trapped in an invisible box. <br>49. Beg them to dispose of your dentist, who is involved in a secret plot that shall result in your demise. <br>50. Pretend to be an answering machine.<br><br>Found this saved to my pc, someone on VHR made these up. :P
Comments
Wheaty is also one of the snaddest people ever.
And so is ViVi
But not Middy. x3
(email/msn is now posted, so add me, but make sure to let me know who you are :] )
22/100 mill so far
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