This was an email I got...=]

Doggydog · September 2008

Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Only in America ... ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. EVER WONDER ... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why you don't ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Why 'abbreviated' is such a long word? Why doctors call what they do 'practice'? Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker? Why the time of day with the slowest traffic is called rush hour? Why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food? Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes? Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! Why sheep don't shrink when it rains? Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Why, if flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?... The email went on with a bunch of crap about sending this to 5 other people or something like that...

~Mystic~ · September 2008

Woah! that is so awesome lmao For the american things that's why everyone comes to Canny! We are normal! To a point..

Doggirl1995 · September 2008

~Mystic~ wrote:

Woah! that is so awesome lmao For the american things that's why everyone comes to Canny! We are normal! To a point..

*nods* XDD Nice, Soccer. I laughed hard at some of those.

UnknownDreamland · September 2008

America is.. Unique. >_> xD Thanks for sharing! That was very awesome.

tarnish · September 2008

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Actually, I can.

I don't wear it too often though. Some of those things are hilarious. I have to agree with Dreamy. Thanks for sharing.

~Mystic~ · September 2008

i never open my mouth doing eyeliner nor mascara... it lies! lol

Alliieennss · September 2008

"You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! " I don't much care for that one xD. I think the black box is like...made of heavy, durable stuff or something (I'm just thinking, I don't know if it's true, I should look it up). If the plane was made out of it, it would be way too heavy to fly.

Archuleta08 · September 2008

Here's Something i got one time that reminded me of more of the same questions. you can also find it on basicjokes.com under top rated jokes In Order Of Stupidity... In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)? On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???.....) On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????....) On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)? On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness..." (and...I'm taking this because???....) On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)? On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) and also this one: George Carlin Strikes Again 1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? 2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack? 4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 6. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 7. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in . . . what happens to the other penny? 8. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with? 10. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? 11. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? 12. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? 13. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? 14. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? 15. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? 16. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? 17. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? 18. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? 19. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? 20. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they're cramming for their final exam. 21. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? 22. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? 23. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? 24. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning. 25. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? 26. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. 27. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose? 28. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

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This was an email I got...=]

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