Thoughts to think about..

<span style="font-size:75">Here are some funny thoughts to give you a laugh and maybe make you think a bit too. Not all of them came from my own mind (though some of them are), but I cannot credit the creators of the thoughts. They are paraphrased, re-organized, chopped up and otherwise run through the meat grinder we call memory.<br><br>-I had to write my own self help book, because reading someone else's, seemed pointless.<br>-I hate typing, so I wrote a book in my head. I'm marketing it to mind readers.<br>-A conclusion is a place where you got tired of thinking.<br>-Are children who act in rated R movies, allowed to see them?<br>-Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?<br>-Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there? I'm going to eat the first thing that comes out of it's butt." <span style="font-weight:bold">Extra note</span> On this one, let's just pretend that the person actually saw a chicken, not a rooster.<br>-Santa Claus has the right idea-only visit people once a year.<br>-One of the problems I have with the English language is that when there is a very long sentence that ends with an exclamation point, you don’t start screaming it until about 8 or 9 words ahead of the exclamation point! Like that! Did you know I was screaming that? Did you see that coming?! In Spanish there’s an upside down exclamation point or question mark at the end and the beginning of a sentence. That seems more thought out. <br>-If right-handed people live on average 9 years more than left-handed people, if you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?<br>-Polar bears are left-handed. (They'd live longer if we made them switch and they wouldn't be endangered)<br>-How do they get those boats in those glasses?<br>-If you tell someone you're being judgemental, aren't you being judgemental yourself?<br>-How do we have the weight of the world on our shoulders, but have to get it off our chest?<br>-Why do donuts have holes?<br>-If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?<br>-Do sheep get static cling when they rub against each other?<br>-If they energizer bunny attacks someone, is he charged with battery?<br>-Do bald men wash their head with soap, or shampoo?<br>-Is "bad" a bad word?<br>-If dinosaurs had sores, what would they be called?<br><br>Ah, just some randomness :]</span>